How Did THAT Happen?
by Spiderlass
Summary: Spock and Kirk are both guys... so how the heck do they have a baby! NOT M-preg, YES Slash eventually... NOTE: Is being rewritten, see inside for details.
1. Conception on Accident

**A/N: GASP! ANOTHER **_**FANDOM**_**? REALLY?**

**Ha, I'm sorry, but I am a huge nerd. I saw the Star Trek movie a few weeks after it came out in '09, and after watching TOS for a little while, I'm slightly hooked. Plus, Spirk. 'Nuff said. Okay, warning:**

_**The following contains slash **_(seriously, what else do you expect from me?),_** language, McCoy reacting to strange situations, and a hybrid child who exists but probably shouldn't. **_

**Disclaimer: ****Last time I checked, I was neither Gene Roddenberry nor J.J Abrams. **

In retrospect, Jim knew he should have been a bit more wary when _The Enterprise _received a distress call from a nearby planet.

He also should have been more suspicious when the callers claimed to be under attack from, "Evil, foaming-at the mouth primates," as well.

But he wasn't, and so now he, his First Officer, Bones, a total of fifteen living yeomans (and five dead ones), and several terrified cat-people in robes were hiding from crazy, rabid primate things that wanted to either enslave them or eat their meat and wear their skins as coats.

But in Kirk's defense, Spock probably should have warned him that this was a bad idea. So there.

"Okay, if anybody has any ideas, any ideas at all, now would be a really great time to share them!" Kirk half-whispered, half-yelled hurriedly.

A yeoman whose name escaped him at the moment raised her hand tentatively.

"Yes! You, yeoman in the back!"

"… Panic?" She suggested quietly.

"That's your answer for everything!" The yeoman next to her hissed.

"Okay, no, no panicking! Panicking is bad and will probably get us all killed! Anybody else? Anybody at all? Please?"

"Captain, if I may interrupt, I believe that I have a plan that will result in most, if not all, of us surviving."

"Well dammit Spock, spit it out!" Kirk hush-yelled. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I do not see how salivating will at all improve our situation, Captain."

"For the love of- Just tell us your plan!"

And so he did. To put it simply, Spock's plan was that he, the Captain, and at least three yeomans would all run out and distract the thirteen total invaders while the remaining yeomans and Bones would stick hypos filled with an poisonous substance- apparently the monkey people had a VERY bad intolerance for the juice of a fruit-like plant that grew inside the cat people's caves- into their necks, paralyzing them long enough for them to be apprehended.

"And you're sure this'll work?" Bones asked skeptically.

"I am 99.5 percent sure, doctor."

"What's the other .5 percent?"

"We all die painfully."

"I like those odds! Let's do it!" Kirk cheered.

"HOLD IT! None of these yeomans are trained medical staff members! They have no idea how to work the-"

"OW! What the hell'd you do that for?"

Everyone turned to the two yeomans from earlier. The one who had suggested panicking had apparently stuck a hypo in the one who had hissed at her.

"Sorry. I wanted to make sure I knew how this worked."

Spock perked an eyebrow at Bones when he turned around. "You were saying, doctor?"

McCoy's eyes narrowed. "I hate you, you green-blooded son of a hobgoblin."

"Of course you do. Now, shall we start?"

-To boldly go-

"Okay, is everybody ready?"

Spock and the three yeomans (okay, just the yeomans) nodded.

"Let's do this!"

And thus, the party burst out from behind the rocks, phasers loaded.

"HEY YOU DAMN DIRTY APES!"

Said monkey-people turned to them, malice mixed with confusion shining in their eyes. Jim's own eyes shone with a wicked gleam, excited about finally getting to use his phaser after countless ass-kissing diplomatic missions.

And then hell broke loose. Phasers were fired, hypos were stuck in necks, monkey people roared and swung their arms, etc.

But the oddest thing out of the whole battle was how it ended. While Kirk had his back turned, one of the monkeys snuck up behind him, unnoticed in the commotion. Spock, however, did notice this.

"CAPTAIN!" He yelled, tackling Kirk just as the monkey swung. Both of them were hurled back into a large, off-white crystal-like object. Spock's arms gripped his friend tightly as the back his head collided with the crystal, and Jim's eyes widened as his hands both slammed onto the crystal.

What happened next is difficult to explain. Immediately after the Captain and First Officer made contact with the crystal, the object emitted a blindly white light that overtook the whole cave. Once it faded, the entire remaining monkey people were moaning in pain on the ground (the rest were paralyzed), although most of the uninjured crew members remained fine.

Of course, Spock and Kirk were unaware of this little fact. They both were slightly more preoccupied with the position the two of them were in. Such as the fact that Spock was still clutching the human around his waist quite tightly. Or that Jim's hand was almost on top of Spock's (he knew Spock had a weird thing about stuff like handshakes, though he didn't know why). Or the fact that they were both in a position that would _very _easily allow either of them to shift forward ever so slightly and-

"Captain? If it is not a problem, would you please remove yourself from your position on top of me?"

Jim blinked. "H-Huh? O-Oh, sure!" He said, scrambling to his feet, attempting to control the fierce blush threatening to overcome his features. _Dammit… Why is it that I feel like this around him all of a sudden?_

"Oi! Jim! If you and the hobgoblin are done making out, call somebody to get these guys outta here!"

Despite his efforts, the blush took over anyway. "Sh-Shut up, Bones!"

Jim then picked up on the groans coming from the half-Vulcan beside him. Spock was rubbing his neck, a look of slight pain on his face. "You okay?" Jim asked.

"I am fine, Captain. I simply did not properly brace myself for contact with the crystal."

"Y'know, you might want to get an-" Jim stopped as his eyes fell on the aforementioned rock. Instead of the purely off-white color it had been before the two of them had crashed into it, the crystal now was now blood-red in the center, lightening in shade as it went to the edges.

"Hey… what happened to the crystal? It wasn't that color earlier, was it?"

"O-Oh, dear…" A shaky voice said behind them. One of the cat people, an older, gray-tinted tigress wearing purple robes with an intricate design on them stepped forward, a worried look on her face. Behind her, a smaller, younger looking tigress wore a similar expression.

"Are you in charge here?" Kirk asked.

"I am the matriarchal head of this clan, yes." She answered.

"Great. Mind telling us what the heck's up with this thing?" He asked, gesturing to the crystal.

The elder swallowed nervous. "Yes, well, um… the crystal… has to do with bhelegmh."

"Come again?" Kirk asked.

"It has to do with b… b… biology, sir."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "And what, pray tell, is the part this crystal has to do with?"

Kirk wasn't sure, but he thought he saw the old cat flush. "That is to say, it has to do with… propagating the species."

"Propagating the species? Oh, you mean like se-"

Suddenly the younger tigress covered her ears. "La la la, I can't hear you, we aren't talking about things that are extremely gross, la la la!"

The elder smacked the young female upside her head. "Quiet! Do not act like such a cub!"

"But what the human speaks of is gross and messy and sweaty! We have the crystals so we do not have to engage in such activities!" She whined.

Kirk held out a hand, stopping her. "Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that these crystals are used to create new life on your planet?"

"… Yes. That is exactly it, sir."

Kirk laughed. "Then I guess we're okay, then! I mean, since Spock and I are both guys, there's no way for any kind of life to be conceived."

"AUGH! GROSS GROSS GROSS!"

"Sorry. Well, if that's everything, I think we can get outta here! Try to keep yourselves from getting invaded again!"

The elder tigress opened her mouth to reply, but the Captain and crew of the _Enterprise _(along with the captured monkey people) had already beamed themselves up to their ship.

"[_Elder Katunasha, shouldn't we have informed them of the specifics of the crystal?_]"

The old woman sighed, looking over at the crystal, fixating on the swirling crimson center. "[_It doesn't matter, they'll find out soon enough._]"

-Where No Man Has Gone Before—

_One year later…_

Kirk yawned, not because he was tired, but because he was so. Damn. _Bored._ Seriously, he never thought he'd get so bored being the Captain of a huge spaceship, but it seemed he could surprise even himself. What made matters worse is that Spock wasn't there for him to bug endlessly (which was still a lot of fun, even after almost two years of working on the same ship), or at least stare at those ears. No, Spock had to go, 'Oversee an important experiment'. Which basically meant Spock was trying to make sure the labs didn't blow up… _again_. On their own, a pissed McCoy or Scotty was just plain annoying, but together… Yeesh. Not fun.

Also, Uhura disabled games on his PADD when she caught him playing Tetris on it instead of looking at reports.

So now, Jim was a very bored spaceship Captain without even Tetris to entertain him.

"Argh, I'm so BORED!"

"Then work." Uhura deadpanned.

"But that's boooooring! I want something fun to do!"

Right as he said that, a loud ping sounded, signifying Scotty calling up from Engineering.

"Scotty, _please _tell me you have something for me to do!"

The Scotsman hesitated. "Well, it's not exactly somethin' fer ya tah do _per se_, Cap'n."

Kirk frowned in confusion. "Explain, Scotty."

"Do ye remember the cat people ye saved from the monkeys about a year ago, Cap'n?"

"Gonna need to be more specific."

"Well, I believe ye described 'em as 'A furry, whiny bunch o' prudes', sir."

"Ah! Yeah, I remember them. What about it?"

"… Ya may just wanna head over tah the transport bay, Cap'n. Scotty out."

-SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIRRRRRRRRRRRRK!—

"Okay, Scotty, what's the matter this- Oh, hello, Spock, why are you here?"

"Mr. Scott has also requested my presence, Captain."

Jim turned to stare at the Scotsman, but instead found himself staring at a very familiar looking old feline.

"Greetings, Captain Kirk." She said, her expressing remaining stoic.

"GAH! Good God, where'd you come from?"

"That matter is unimportant. What is important right now is that I give you what belongs to both you and the Vulcan."

Spock perked an eyebrow.

"… Come again?" Jim asked intelligently.

The tigress sighed, producing a large white bundle she had somehow hidden in her robes. "My people have held this for as long as we can, but it is against both our cultures laws and ethics to keep something from its creators any longer than we have already."

"Okay, lady, just what the hell are you even talking about-?"

He was interrupted by a sudden noise.

Specifically, a noise coming from the large white bundle.

A noise like crying.

Specifically, a crying baby.

The elder turned the bundle in her arms, revealing a little pale-skinned girl with wisps of blonde hair starting to grow in front of her eyes.

The baby girl also had pointed ears and warm brown eyes.

"Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, this is your daughter. She was born three months ago today, Terran date April 3, 2254."

At that moment, James Tiberius Kirk did the most unmanly, unawesome thing he'd ever done.

He blacked out and fell to the floor.

A/N: So? How was it? Good? Bad? Enough to make a Vulcan go completely and utterly nuts? Let me know! R&R!

Also, the italicized words in brackets are the cat people's language.

Also, anyone who catches either the Yugioh Abridged or the My Little Pony: FiM references is awesome.


	2. Hannelore

**A/N: Dear God. Four reviews in one night? Damn, I usually don't get that many in a month! You guys are awesome!**

"Jim… Jim! Wake up, you lazy son of a-"

"Doctor, there is now a small child on board. Please refrain from using harsh language."

"Mmph… No Bones… Don't wanna go to Pointy-Ears' class…"

"Jim, wake up and stop insulting your First Officer!"

Groaning, Jim lazily opened his eyes… and realized he was not in his bed. Instead, he was on the floor of the _Enterprise_.

"Hey… Why am I on the floor?" He looked over at Spock. "And why the hell is my First Officer holding a baby?"

Spock opened his mouth to explain, but McCoy stopped him. "No, it'll hit him in a second."

"What'll hit me in a… Oh."

"Told ya."

And for the first time in his life, James Tiberius Kirk had no idea what to say. What were you supposed to say when someone told you, a male Starship Captain, that you had a daughter with your First Officer, also male, via a crystal belonging to a bunch of prudish cat-people? Something intelligent, he was sure.

"… Guh…"

Smooth, Kirk. Real smooth.

"Three… two… one." Bones counted down.

"AAAAAHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? I CAN'T BE SOMEONE'S DAD! ESPECIALLY SINCE THAT SOMEONE'S MY FIRST OFFICER'S KID TOO! AAAAH- OW!"

The "OW!" came when Bones attempted to slap some sense into the Captain. Thankfully, it worked.

"Better?"

"Much. Thank you, Bones, I needed that."

"My pleasure, Jim."

The Captain then turned to the elder. "You. How the hell did this happen?"

The tigress went into a very long, in-depth description of exactly how the crystals on her home world worked. Basically, conception only required two different sets of DNA, not a sperm and egg cell like most species. The crystals would combine the DNA and somehow create an embryo, which would be born as an infant around nine months later.

"Our people can keep the child, but for no more than three months after birth. Quite simply, she's your problem now."

And with that, the elder stepped onto the transporter and disappeared.

"Wait- Well, cra-"

"Language, Captain."

"-b-cakes."

"Crab-cakes?" asked McCoy, eyebrows raised.

"Shut up, it's what I could think of on short notice. Spock, I know you're half-Vulcan and therefore claim to not have emotions, but aren't you freaked out about this too?"

"Though I did not at all expect to have a child, especially not one with you, Captain, I am not, as you say, 'freaked out about this'. It would not be pertinent to worry about the consequences at this moment. Rather, we ought to come to a conclusion about what to do with her."

"Oh, right! We need to find somewhere to leave her! Is Earth close enough for us to take her to my brother and his wife?"

Again, Spock raised an eyebrow. "I was not suggesting we leave her in the care of your brother, Captain."

"Guess you're right, Earth's probably not that close anyway. I think New Vulcan is, though. Spock, can you call up your father and-"

"I was not suggesting that we leave her with my father either, sir."

Jim scowled at the half-Vulcan. "Spock, I'm running out of people here. What _are _you suggesting that we do with her, if we don't take her to Earth or New Vulcan?"

"As she is our child, is it not _our _responsibility to raise her?"

Kirk's eyes widened. "Y-You're… Y-You're joking, right?" He spluttered.

"Vulcans do not joke, Captain. As her parents, it is our responsibility to oversee her upbringing, as well as-"

"_Spock_. I'm not sure you've noticed, but we're. On. A. Spaceship! This is no place to raise a baby, even _if _she's a quarter Vulcan!"

"Captain, I assure you that I have noted we are indeed on a spaceship. And would it not be better for a child to grow up around diverse settings, as to prepare said child for many experiences?"

Jim growled and took the small girl from Spock, holding her under her tiny arms. "Spock. Look at her. Look her in the eyes, and then tell me if you can honestly take the chance that she might die because we didn't leave her somewhere safe."

As he finished saying that, he held the girl up to where her face was level with Spock. For a moment, two pairs of identical warm brown eyes stared into each other.

All Spock could think was how much those big, chocolate-colored eyes reminded him of his mother's.

Of course, that ended when the baby leaned forward and pulled on a tiny fistful of Spock's raven hair.

"G-GAH!"

Immediately, the little girl began crying, startled by the sudden noise so close to her. Kirk immediately pulled her away from the pained man, cradling her and trying to comfort the infant.

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay… Honestly, Spock, didja _have _to yell in the baby's face?"

"Forgive me, Captain, I am not used to have my hair pulled at." The Science Officer muttered, a slight growl emitting from him as he attempted to smooth the offending clump out.

-To Boldly Go—

"…So, yeah, that's basically the long and short of it. For some reason, Spock and I have a kid, and I guess unless Pike or Starfleet objects, she'll be staying here."

The crew of _The Enterprise_ had no idea what to think. It certainly wasn't the first time the Captain had made some sort of strange announcement, though certainly it was the most unexpected. Since Uhura and Spock's break-up about three months prior, many of the younger crew members had started to speculate that, secretly, their Captain and his First Officer had begun a romantic relationship. This pissed Kirk to no end, which he was very vocal about. There was no truth to those rumors, Jim insisted.

Nope. No truth at all.

In any case, every member could say this with certainty: _This is the weirdest thing that has _ever _happened on this ship. And this is _The Enterprise, _so that's saying something._

Just as they thought that, the currently unnamed child chose to cry. It was also the moment that it was discovered the bridge had _remarkable _acoustics.

"Gah! Jim! Make it stop!" McCoy yelled.

"What? What does a duck have to do with anything?"

"My God, man, mind your language, you're holding a baby for Christ's sake!"

"What? I don't know what you just said!"

"Oh, give me the kid!" Uhura said, pushing her way to the front and taking the baby from Kirk. "Shush, you're okay, Auntie Nyota's here to help… Uh, guys, found the problem. Anybody know where we can get some diapers?"

"What?"

"Oh, for the love of…" With no other options, Uhura stuck her thumb in the baby's mouth. This did actually quiet her. "I said, we need diapers!"

Most of the crew members stared at her. "Why on Earth would we, a Starship built for people over the age of twenty, have diapers?"

Uhura groaned. "Then at least tell me we have some cloth or something that we can use as makeshift diapers 'til we get somewhere that we can buy some!"

"There's probably some in the sickbay!" Chapel suggested.

"Great! C'mon, Chris, let's go fix this little girl up."

"Lieutenant, shouldn't the Captain and I-"

"_No._" Uhura said, her tone saying _'I will castrate you and leave you to BLEED' _quite clearly.

Well.

Okay then. Best not to mess with Mommy Uhura. EVER.

Jim cleared his throat. "All… All right, then. Chekov, plot a course for the nearest Earth colony so we can get some supplies."

"Aye, Keptin!"

-Where No Man Has Gone Before—

As soon as they reached the Earth Colony and got permission to go ashore for a short time (Pike had tears of mirth running down his face by the time they explained everything, but he didn't object to the girl's presence on the ship. Something about how 'Having a child on a Starship would better public relations for Starfleet'), Christine and Uhura went down to get necessary supplies, such as a crib (there was actually an empty room close to both the Captain's quarters and Spock's as well), baby monitors, a changing table, diapers, baby powder, formula, clothes, as well as extra amenities, such as baby books and toys.

Was it also an excuse for the two women to go shopping? Perhaps. But the fact was that the baby needed stuff, and currently, _The Enterprise _did not have baby stuff.

It was a long walk around the shopping center, though it did get easier once they bought a stroller (and convinced a couple of kind, burly-looking Liberian males to help them out. Having a lot of arms is very helpful in carrying around furniture). They were almost finished, so they beamed up the furniture (after paying the men) and headed over to buy baby clothes.

"Ah, welcome, ladies! May I help you?"

"Yes, we're looking for some baby clothes. What do you have for a three-month old girl?" Christine asked. The sales-lady smiled and started to show her their stock.

Meanwhile, Uhura had taken the little girl over to the toy section, looking mostly for classic children's books. So far, she'd found at least thirteen Dr. Seuss books. A good start.

"Ayiia!" A tiny voice squealed. Uhura turned to find the baby attempting to sit up and reach for a fuzzy baby-blue teddy bear with a purple ribbon around its neck on a nearby shelf. She smiled and took the bear off the shelf, holding it in front of the tiny girl. "Do you want this bear, sweetie?"

"Iiya! Iiya!" The little girl squealed noisily. Uhura grinned and handed it to her. She immediately held it lovingly.

"Looks like we've already got some toys, too."

-SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRKKKK!—

Spock was, though he'd never admit it, exhausted. Finding out you have a child with your very male Captain when you are also quite male is never expected, so it could drain someone quite easily.

Also Uhura made him and the other male crew members (who were not Chekov) set up the baby furniture.

_How it is that something that is meant to house infants could be as difficult as some tests at the Starfleet Academy, I will never understand._

Just as Spock was about to drift off into a peaceful sleep, the baby monitor, which Uhura had insisted he keep in his room, started to emit the sound of a baby crying. According to Uhura, this meant he had to get up and go fix whatever was troubling the child.

Spock groaned at having to get back up even though he had nearly gotten to sleep, but just as he was about to get up, he heard the door open on the other end of the monitor.

"_Hey… whassamatta, huh? Why're… Why're ya crying at this hour?"_

Spock sighed, getting back into his bed. Of course, Kirk decided to just keep on talking.

"_L'see… Uhura… 'hura said to check if you're wet… nope, dry as a bone. Uh… hungry?"_

Spock heard the sound of plastic making contact with something.

"_OW! Jeez, okay, you aren't hungry… What else did she say could be- What are you doing?"_

He heard a small voice sigh contentedly.

"… _You were lonely, eh? Aw, poor baby…"_

Against his better judgment, Spock chuckled a bit at how sweet and non-captain-like Jim's voice sounded right then.

"… _You need a name. I have a name, Spock has a name, and even Nero had a name. Since you are a lot better than Nero, you should have a name. Let's see… How about Hannelore? I'll call ya Hanners for short."_

Spock raised an eyebrow. Did the Captain expect the baby to reply?

"_Alright, from now on, your name is Hannelore."_

Spock rolled his eyes inwardly, though he smiled a bit. Just as he was about go to sleep, he heard Kirk say quietly,

"_Hannelore Amanda Kirk."_

And Spock did not get to sleep for another 30.7 minutes.

-STAR TREK—

The next day was a day like any other.

Excluding the fact that, instead of shirking work to play Tetris, James Kirk was now shirking work to play with his new daughter.

But, yeah. Other than that, it was totally normal.

"Captain, Starfleet has sent me a notice that you've been neglecting to do your paperwork. Shall I tell them you'll do it right away?"

"Hee… koochie koochie koo!"

Uhura turned to stare at her Captain. "Pardon, Captain?"

Jim looked up for a second to make eye contact. "Wha? Oh, yeah, tell 'em I'll get on it later."

Uhura stared at him for another second, then rolled her eyes and went back to her computer. Spock saw this a good time to go and speak with his Captain.

"Sir?"

"Hm?"

"While it is a good idea to spend time with your child, perhaps you could spend time with Hannelore when you are off-duty, Captain?"

Kirk froze and turned around in his seat. "How did you know that I decided to call her Hannelore?"

"I also have a 'baby monitor' in my quarters, Captain."

Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. "Err… Well, what do you think? Is it cool if we call her Hannelore?"

"I do not know how temperature has anything to do with the name of our child, however, I do not object to calling her Hannelore. Or 'Hanners', as you called her in shortening."

"R-Really? You sure you don't wanna give her a Vulcan name I can't pronounce?"

"If you cannot pronounce it, Captain, what would be the point of giving her that name?"

"… Shut up and get back to work."

"Yes, Captain."

**A/N: **So! The mystery child has been named!

BTW, if anyone here reads the web comic _Questionable Content _by J. Jacques, they'll see where I got the name Hannelore, as well as Hanners. If you have not read it, DO IT. NAAAOOOO!


	3. Explanations

**A/N: AT LAST! I AM FREE!**

**Ha, sorry. The first play of the semester closed this week. I had to work most of the shows because **__**I was on costume crew and had to make sure that none of the actors lost buttons or anything, and… let's just say one of the actresses is a total prima donna (*cough*NISA*cough*). I'm impressed that the other actors can put up with her. **

**But it is over, and I don't have to work another show 'til the musical next semester! WOO!**

_WARNING! Ahead there be some language not suitable for younger audiences!_

After the whirlwind of strain Hanners caused finally wore off, Kirk decided something: Spock's father, even if they weren't going to dump her with him, did need to be notified that he now was a grandfather. And probably Old Spock, but that would have to wait until his Spock wasn't around. He really didn't want the world ending when he had just become a father. That would really suck.

Thus, the ship set a course for New Vulcan. And throughout the two weeks it took to get there, Kirk was completely freaked out. And he was very sure that Spock was also freaked out, even if he did claim to be completely apathetic.

Hannelore, fortunately, was still only three months old. Thus, she didn't really care about what reaction her grandfather may have to her. Her biggest concern at the moment was usually whatever toy she wanted and was attempting to develop motor skills to retrieve.

_Okay, Kirk, breathe. Vulcans are a peaceful race. It's not like Sarek will use one of the fifty-three ways Vulcans can kill someone with a touch on you because you brought him a granddaughter, right? Breathe, Kirk, just breathe-_

"Keptin?"

"GAH!"

The entire bridge turned to stare at their Captain. Many of them thought that Kirk seemed to be becoming increasingly neurotic since Hanners' arrival. Others found his over-reacting to be slightly hilarious. Among the latter were Chekov, Sulu and Uhura.

"Erm… Yes, Chekov?"

The Russian struggled to keep from laughing. "We... we will be arriving at New Wulcan in ten minutes, Keptin."

"G-Good. Thank you, Chekov."

A low, barely audible chuckle was heard around the bridge as the crew returned to work. Out of the corner of his eye, Jim swore he saw Chekov and Sulu bro-fist. Silently, he thanked The Powers That Be that McCoy hadn't seen Chekov scare him. He _never _would've lived that kind of humiliation down.

Though something told him that McCoy would probably know in less than twenty minutes, what with how fast information flew around this damn ship.

-To Boldly Go-

"Iiya! Iiiii-yaaa!"

"Hanners, _please _calm down. I know you want Mr. Snuggles, but we have to be dignified when we meet Grandpa Sarek."

Spock raised an eyebrow at his Captain. "_Mr. Snuggles_, Captain?"

Kirk flushed. "Sh-Shut up, it's a tradition on Earth to give baby toys cute names."

"If you say so, sir."

Hannelore was not happy. No sir, not happy at all. First, Daddy woke her up from a nice nap and made her put on ugly, really _itchy_ clothes. Then he made her leave the nice ship to go to this weird, too-warm place that wasn't very pretty. Worst of all, he made her _leave_ Mr. Snuggles _on the ship_. This was not fun _at all_. Plus, all the people here were looking at her funny and she didn't know why. They were really funny-looking too, so why did they look at _her_ like she had a third eye?

Kirk, if possible, was even less happy then his daughter. First of all, he was terrified of Sarek's reaction to Hanners. He was already pretty sure Sarek had it out for him (since he sort of had made Spock lose his captainship), he didn't want to imagine how Sarek would react once he found out the two had accidently created new life together. Second, he was really worried about how Old Spock would react. Jim was sure nothing like this ever happened to him and his Kirk, and the dude, even if he was half-Vulcan, was pretty damn old. This might be the thing that killed him! Finally, Jim was not at all pleased with how the other Vulcans looked at him and his child, especially the latter. All around them, he saw Vulcan women and children stare at them and then turn to whisper to each other, while the men simply turned away, disgust evident at the mixed-breed child. It made him sick to think that a race that claimed to be so logical could still hold such prejudices. If he wasn't in the presence of a small child he would probably have flipped them all off.

Spock, meanwhile, was trying very hard not to turn and growl menacingly at all of these ignorant fools. He cursed his Vulcan hearing as he caught Vulcan words and phrases such as:** "**_**… a blond Vulcan child? Is that possible?" "Well, she is obviously not a pureblood; she must be the shorter man's child…" "…Inferior…" "… Spock's child, obviously. I knew he should not be allowed to breed…" "How vile! Who let such a thing happen, I wonder?" "… Disgusting…",**_etc.

So, out of all three of them, no one was at all happy. That's why, though none of them showed it, everyone was relieved to finally arrive at Sarek's home, going inside as quickly as possible.

Sarek, who had just walked to the front hall, looked surprised at the unexpected visitors. _**"Spock? Why have you come to New Vulcan, my son?" **_

"_**Father, I am a bit uncertain of how you will react to this, but I believe it is right that you should know." **_At this, he took Hanners from Kirk. _**"This is my… daughter, **_Hannelore Amanda Kirk."

Sarek stared at the child, not quite sure what to make of this strange being who possessed the same eyes as his late wife and younger son. How was it that his son had a child, in any case? His betrothed, T'Pring, had passed when the planet was destroyed, and he was well aware that his son was no longer romantically involved with Lt. Uhura (a fact of which he was secretly glad). Also, neither woman had seemed to have possessed a trait for blond hair or Caucasian human skin color, so logically neither of them could have mothered this child.

Sarek's train of thought was brought to an abrupt halt when the small child let out a high-pitched whine, which quickly evolved into full-fledged crying.

"Shh, Hanners, no crying in front of your grandpa…" A male human whose name escaped him said quietly, taking the child from Spock and slowly rocking her back and forth in his arms.

"_**Spock, why are you allowing him to handle your child?"**_

Spock hesitated, attempting to choose his words carefully. _**"Hannelore is the… product of an incident involving Felinian reproductive crystals, Captain Kirk, and myself. As odd as it sounds, Hannelore is… also the Captain's biological daughter."**_

Sarek's eyes widened comically and raised an eyebrow (_So THAT'S where Spock gets it,_ Kirk thought), in an expression Kirk had long since labeled 'Vulcan for "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?"'.__ Spock quickly explained the basics of what had happened to cause her conception, though 'The Look' didn't go away, or become any less incredulous. In fact, he seemed to become even _more _incredulous, if that was possible. All the while, Hannelore softly whined. Being on an overly-hot planet was not only not fun, but also _extremely _boring. Especially when you have no idea what anybody is saying (Kirk could relate).

Sarek sighed. Even in his time as Ambassador to Earth (and all the time he spent as Amanda's husband), he'd never seen or heard of something quite as strange as this. It was definitely the most illogical spectacle he had ever come upon.

But, as his late wife said, "Sometimes, you just gotta let go of logic and accept things for what they are, or you'll get gray hairs." An illogical statement in some aspects, as he had gray hairs in any case, but perhaps this was one of those times.

"_**I am not sure I will ever be able to truly make sense of this… situation, Spock, but I do not see any logical reason as to why I should not accept her as your child. Thank you for making me aware of her existence."**_

If Spock were not half-Vulcan, he may have smiled. He took the child from Kirk, cradling Hanners in his arms. _**"I am pleased that you accept Hannelore, fath- **_URGH!"

The little outburst at the end of Spock's statement came when Hanners decided that right then was a fantastic time to pull on one of her father's pointed ears. She giggled at his expression. Jim burst out laughing, secretly amused that his daughter had inherited his obsession with Spock's ears.

"_**I am beginning to believe that this child will cause my death eventually."**_

"_**Your mother said the same thing about you when you were Hannelore's age, son."**_

-Where No Man Has Gone Before—

_Aaaaand people are still staring at us. Jeez, I guess Vulcans don't know about subtlety, either. _

"Spock, can I ask you something?"

"Are you inquiring whether you are _able_ to ask me a question, Captain, or if you _may _ask me a question?"

Kirk grimaced. "Nobody likes a grammar Nazi, Spock. Fine, _may _I ask you something?"

"You may."

"Did people stare at you like this when you were a kid, or is it just us?"

Spock didn't answer immediately. "… If you are inquiring if people often observed me as they seem to be observing you and Hannelore now, Captain, then no. Their interest in you both is not as… unpleasant as the air they regarded me with."

"O-Oh." Kirk swallowed a bit. He knew that Spock didn't exactly have a picture-perfect childhood, but it never occurred to him that he had been treated like a freak or something. He wondered if Old Spock had the same experiences as his Spock in his childhood.

Speaking of Old Spock, Kirk needed to go find the old guy. He was pretty sure that Old Spock was on the planet somewhere, so, after he got rid of his Spock, he'd go find Old Spock and introduce him to Hanners (and hopefully not give him a heart attack or something).

"Err… Spock! I, uh, just remembered that I have to do something! Now!"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Very well, Captain, I shall return to the ship with Hannelore so you are able to complete your errand."

"NO! Uh, I mean, I kinda need Hanners to do this errand."

The already-raised eyebrow arched higher. "Captain, why is it that you require the presence of a three-month-old child to complete this errand?"

"Because… uh… Oh, just gimme the kid!" Kirk yelled, quickly taking Hannelore into his arms, wrapping one arm around her and using the other to keep her from slipping away. Hanners was not pleased at all with this rather uncomfortable position, and made his unhappiness known by kicking her legs and screaming.

"Sweetie, please calm- OOF!"

Kirk was interrupted when he walked straight into someone. A very tall someone, apparently.

"Ah, sorry about th-"

Kirk immediately froze when he saw exactly who he'd bumped into. At this time, Jim's thoughts could be summarized to this:

_OHFUCKWE'REALLGONNADIEEEEEEEEEEEE!_

"Hello, Jim. It certainly has been a while, hasn't it?" Spock Prime greeted him, the tiniest hint of amusement in his voice.

Jim was unable to make anything resembling noise at that moment. So Hannelore spoke for him.

"Tataga! Epe! Iiya!" The small girl babbled noisily. Spock Prime looked down at the child, perplexed as to why there was a Vulcan-esque blond infant in Jim's arms.

"Hello, small one. Who might you be?" He asked.

"She would be my daughter, as well as the Captain's." Spock explained, approaching the odd trio.

If Jim had been able to scream, he would have. As it was, the best he could do was to make a small noise like a tribble's coo.

Spock Prime blinked. "I apologize, but I am not sure as to what you mean by, 'She would be my daughter, as well as the Captain's'. Do you mean that you have adopted a child with the Captain?"

"It is a very long, confusing story, but in short Hannelore is both mine and the Captain's biological daughter." Spock went on to explain the details of their rather uncommon situation to the elder him, mostly in Vulcan. Meanwhile, Jim was still extremely confused about this entire thing, thinking the universe was supposed to implode.

Then it hit him: One, The universe had not imploded, and probably would not implode; Two, the two Spocks were conversing as if they had met before.

"Could someone _please _tell me why the universe hasn't imploded if you two have met?"

Spock Prime turned to him, amusement evident in his eyes. "Forgive me, Jim, but it seems that I was incorrect in my thought that it would be disastrous for the two of us to meet. I apologize if I've caused you any distress over this."

"In any case, Captain, seeing as I have been aware of this Spock's presence in our universe for some time now, it does not make any logical sense that the universe would implode at this point."

Kirk blinked. "… Wait, so you _knew_? Why didn't you tell me?"

"As many earthlings have said, 'Where's the fun in that?'"

Kirk was about to respond, but then Hanners once again determined this was a good time to complain about her discomfort. As loudly as possible.

"Hanners now is _not _a good time to scream in Daddy's ear!" Jim hissed. This only served to make her scream even _louder._

"Perhaps you should consider changing to a more comfortable holding position, Captain." Spock said, sarcasm well implied.

"Gee, I didn't think of that when _I was trying to keep the freakin' universe from IMPLODING!"_

Spock Prime nearly chuckled, though even his years of suppressing emotion could not stop the melancholy pang of grief he felt in his chest. If he had not keep his emotions to himself, if he had instead acted on them… perhaps his Jim and he could have had someone such as these two had Hannelore?

A sigh escaped his lips. No, that was an illogical thought. He and his Jim had been like brothers, and nothing more. These two, though… Even if he could not change his past, was it possible for him to help the alternates find what he always thought he saw?

"It has been a pleasure seeing you both, and a pleasure to meet your child." He held up a hand in the Vulcan salute. "Live long and prosper."

Spock emulated the greeting, and Spock Prime started to walk past them.

As he moved past Spock, however, the elder let the tips of his fingers brush past Spock's unclothed wrist. Spock had not been expecting this, and thus was able to hear the elder's thoughts.

"Hey, Spock, you okay?" Kirk asked, seeing the slightly stunned look on his First Officer's face.

"I… I am fine, Captain." Spock said, stuttering just a bit.

But in truth he wasn't, as the thought he heard was almost impossible to make a logical conclusion about.

_Perhaps he shall have the courage to do what I was unable to do…_

**A/N: DONE!**

**And before anyone asks, Hannelore is the biological offspring of two geniuses. She's pretty damn smart herself.**

**Oh, and words **_**like this **_**are Vulcan.**

**Remember to Review!**


	4. The Naked Time, pt 1

**A/N: Okay, before we begin…**

**About Zachary Quinto coming out, what was it, last week?**

**Well, I'll be honest, Ferb, I didn't see this coming.**

**Ferb: Wait a second, who the bloody hell are you?**

**^^' Sorry, couldn't help myself. But in all seriousness, good for him! I'm proud of ya, New Spock!**

**Also, this chapter is based upon the TOS episode, "The Naked Time", though of course there are some differences (i.e. Chekov and Hanners being on the ship)**

_Around Seven months later…_

"Say 'Daddy'. Can you say, 'daa-dee?'?"

The nearly one-year-old Hannelore crossed her arms indignantly, raising one blond eyebrow in a way that reminded Jim of a certain half-Vulcan First Officer.

"C'mon, Hanners, say 'daa-dee'!"

The eyebrow arched a little bit higher.

"Please say, 'daa-dee'?"

Hanners glared at him, a toddler version of Uhura's patented '_Bitch, shut up or I will _make _you shut up' _face.

Jim sighed. Spock had told him that, since she was part Vulcan, Hanners wasn't like to speak before the age of one, but still! She already could stand up. According to most parenting sites he may or may not have visited, she should have said _something _by now. And yet, she hadn't said any actual words, just meaningless babble.

_Maybe I should try Vulcan. Let's see, what's the Vulcan word for 'Father' again?... Sa-mekh? Oohh-kay, that's weird… Eh, won't kill anybody to try._

"Alright, Hanners, let's try a Vulcan word. Say 'Sa-mekh'."

Hanners gave him another look. _Look, if I'm not gonna say it in Standard, what makes you think I'll say it in Vulcan?_

"… Fine, enough trying to get you to talk. Let's watch a Disney Vid or something."

Hannelore smiled at the prospect of Daddy finally shutting up already.

Jim scooped the little girl, and then lifted her into the air above his head.

"Look, up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's SUPER BABY! Daa-daa-naa-naa!"

Hanners giggled at her human father's silliness. The two ran around the room like that for another minute before plopping down in the nearby rocking chair and loading _Beauty and the Beast _onto the screen's archives. As the classic cartoon started, Hannelore snuggled into her father, sighing happily.

The two were so lost in their little world that they had neglected to notice that Spock had come in.

Though he did his best to suppress it, Spock couldn't stop a pang of jealousy from washing over him. He knew that his daughter didn't hold the same affection for him that she held for the Captain, and she likely never would. As a Vulcan, Spock couldn't show emotion, for he must remain as logical as possible. Jim didn't have to follow those rules, though. He could say he loved Hannelore as much as he pleased, and once she learned the words, the girl would most likely tell Jim she loved him as much as she wanted as well.

However, she would most likely never say, "I love you" to Spock. If she was anything like Jim, then she wouldn't see a point of expressing an emotion she didn't feel was mutual.

Spock cleared his throat. "Captain?"

Startled, Jim looked up. "Uh, hey, Spock… How long have you been standing there?"

If he didn't know better, Jim would have thought Spock had chuckled. "I believe you were beginning your 'Super Baby' speech, Captain."

Jim bl- FLUSHED. Manly men like James Tiberius Kirk do not BLUSH. Blushing is for girls and Chekov.

"Uh… could you maybe keep this between the three of us?"

"I shall consider it. In the meantime, we have approached Psi 2000 and will be ready to beam down as soon as possible, Captain."

"R-Right. Sorry, honey, you'll have to watch the Vid without Daddy…"

Just as the Captain put the little girl down, Hanners began to whine, getting to her feet with some difficulty and taking a few shaky steps towards Jim. She took about three steps before landing on her butt.

"No, sweetie, Daddy and Sa-mekh have to go to work now. Little girls named Hannelore aren't allowed to go with them to the transporter pad."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "'Sa-mekh', Captain?"

"Shut up, I was trying to get her to talk."

There was no choice now. If Hanners wanted to have her Daddy Time (and she _would _have her Daddy Time), she had to use the Ultimate Baby Girl Weapon (and one of the only known weaknesses of one James T. Kirk):

The Puppy-Dog Stare.

"Hey, what is she- O-Oh, no."

She had him now. Hanners made the sweetest face she could make and added a lump of sugar to the top.

"Hanners, I-I said… stop… I refuse to give into the puppy dog eyes!"

**-To Boldly Go-**

"I can't believe I gave into the puppy dog eyes…" Jim muttered. In his embrace, Hanners giggled and waved at the crew, most of whom waved back.

Bones chuckled. "Jim, I can say this with certainty: The little elf has ya wrapped around her finger."

"Sh-Shut up…"

Just then, Spock and Lt. Tormoleon walked onto the deck. Because of the planet's atmosphere, the good doctor had requested they wear protective gear.

Bones had failed to mention that this 'protective gear' were baggy, bright orange HAZMAT suits that looked completely ridiculous on a certain half-Vulcan named Spock.

Jim couldn't help it. Along with most of the on-deck crew, he burst into laughter, tears running down his face.

Hannelore looked directly at her Vulcan father. Her eyes seemed to say _I'm surrounded by crazy people, aren't I?_

Sadly, she was right about that.

"Captain, if you are done laughing at the expense of others, I believe we should beam down to the planet."

After he calmed down a bit, and the crew did as well, Jim nodded. "Alright, let's do this. Wave bye-bye to Sa-mekh, Hanners."

The little girl did so, cooing as a form of goodbye. Spock stared for a moment, and then stepped onto the pad.

"Energize."

And just like that, the First Officer and the Lieutenant were gone.

**-Where No Man Has Gone Before-**

The crew of _The Enterprise _didn't know what to make of this.

They certainly hadn't thought that the scientists of Psi 2000 were all _dead_, that's for sure.

"Well, so much for bringing them home. Spock, come back up, there's no reason to stay here."

"Affirmative, Captain."

For a split second, Kirk thought he saw something move on the screen, but then he saw that Tormoleon was just scratching his nose.

A few minutes later, Spock and the Lieutenant were back on the ship, McCoy giving them a quick once over.

"How're things looking, Bones?"

"Well, besides the fact that the hobgoblin pretty much has no blood pressure to speak of, they're looking pretty good, Jim."

Spock raised an eyebrow, but made no comment. Suddenly, a sniffling sound made itself barely audible.

"Tormoleon, you oka- Good God, what's the matter with you?"

The Lieutenant in question looked up, a trail of tears running down his face. "I-I'm s-sorry, Captain, I-I just… th-those poor p-people…"

"That's enough, Tormoleon. I think this mission's got you a little wound-up, go get some rest."

Tormoleon nodded, wiping tears from his eyes as he left the transporter room.

"Well, _that _was odd. Wasn't he fine just a minute ago?"

"Perhaps a delayed emotional reaction to the deaths of the scientists, Captain?" Spock suggested.

Kirk shrugged, or as much of a shrug he could make holding a certain almost one-year-old. "Maybe. Well, whatever. C'mon, Hanners, let's get back to the bookish girl and the furry dude!"

Hanners cooed happily at that.

**-SPIIIIIIIRK!-**

"I still don't get your fascination vith it, Hikaru."

"Oh, come _on_, Pavel! It's awesome, and you won't lose any limbs!"

"Vhere is ze adwenture in zat? If zhere's no danger, zhen vhy ewen bother?"

"I kinda like having my arms and legs, man. They're kinda handy to have around, ya know?"

Chekov rolled his eyes as he and Sulu sat down at their regular lunch table. "I still think zat fencing seems boring and dangerous."

"Wait, dangerous? A minute ago you were saying that there wasn't any danger in it! Oh, hey Joe."

Tormoleon said nothing, didn't even make eye contact as he sat down.

"Are you alright, Meester Tormoleon?"

No response. Sulu was getting worried about the junior Lieutenant. He'd heard that Joe had had a bit of a breakdown after getting off the planet, but right now… it didn't even seem like Joe could hear them.

Sulu tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Joe, you okay? Maybe you should go back to sickbay and have McCoy take another look at-"

"Get your hands off me!"

Sulu pulled back, startled at Tormoleon sudden outburst. The usual sunny smile that lit up Chekov's features dropped out of existence.

"Joe, Hikaru is just worried about you-"

Joe looked right at them, his expression maniacal. "Piss off! What gives you the right to…? You don't rank me, and you don't have pointed ears, so just get off my neck!"

Sulu folded his arms, full Lieutenant-ness showing. "Joe, I do, in fact, rank you. What the hell's the matter with you?"

Tormoleon stood up quickly, his chair flying back into the wall. If this exchange hadn't caught their attention before, it certainly had it now. "Nothing! Leave me the _fuck _alone!"

Something definitely _was _wrong. Joe looked like a wild man, spittle flying everywhere and his eyes wide and filled with paranoia.

Suddenly, the junior Lieutenant lunged forward, seizing a bread knife from the table.

"Joe, what are you-" Sulu started slowly when an announcement came over the intercom, interrupting him.

"_Attention. Engine Room on standby alert. All on-duty personnel are to report to the bridge immediately."_

The young Russian tugged at his friend's arm. "Hikaru, we hawe to go now. Someone is reporting this, see?"

Indeed, a blue-clad science officer had already gone to the intercom and was calling up Giotto. However, Sulu freed himself of Chekov's grasp.

"We're all crazy!" Tormoleon yelled from his position on top of the table. A few hushed whispers made their way through the mess hall.

"We're all a bunch of insane hypocrites! What're we doing out here in space? We don't belong here, using a bunch of goddamn machines to eat and breathe! What right do we have to be polluting and destroying everything?"

He pointed the knife at his chest. "We don't belong here! Six people _died_, for fuck's sake!"

"Joe, stop-"

"Yes. Stop. I'll make it _all _stop." And without another word, he plunged the knife straight into his chest.

Sulu ran forward, trying to pull the knife out. "Chekov! Get McCoy! _Now!_"

The shocked Russian nodded. "I can do zat!" He yelled, running from the commotion of the mess hall.

The Captain wasn't gonna be happy about this…

-STAR TREK-

"_Tale as old as time, true as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly. Just a little change, small, to say the least. Both a little scared, neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast."_

Hannelore cooed. This was one of her favorite parts of this movie. The fact that she got to watch it with her daddy was even more awesome.

At least, it was awesome until a certain blond yeoman decided to interrupt it.

"R-Rand? What are you doing here?" Jim asked, quickly pausing the movie.

Hanners scowled. She now did not like Rand at all.

"Tormoleon… stabbed… mess… hall…" Rand blurted out, breathing heavily after running all the way from Sick Bay.

"_Someone stabbed Tormoleon in the mess hall?"_

Rand quickly shook her head. "Stabbed… himself…"

"Wait. Tormoleon stabbed _himself _in the mess hall?"

Janice nodded. "In… Surgery…"

"Um, crap. Okay, Hanners, stay with Rand while Daddy goes to yell at Tormoleon for being an idiot."

Hanners whined.

"I'm not gonna look at you, Hannelore Amanda Kirk. You shall not hypnotize me this time!"

**-Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a…!-**

"He's dead, Jim."

Kirk blinked. "Wait, what? Who's dead?"

"Tormoleon. He died in surgery."

"… Must've been a pretty big knife."

"Actually, it was just a butter knife."

Jim's eyebrows shot up. "WHAT? B-But… A frikkin' butter knife? You couldn't save a man from a frikkin' butter knife wound?"

"It wasn't the wound, you idiot! If it had just been that, he'd still be alive. Tormoleon… it was like he'd simply lost the will to live."

Jim sighed, resting on a nearby table. "God, what drove him to suicide? Until today, he seemed fine…"

"There was something else. A virus, of sorts. It was the same thing that the scientists had. I'm thinking Joe got infected when he took off a glove to scratch his nose…"

Jim's eyes widened. "But then… that means… Spock…"

"Captain, my metabolism is drastically different from that of Lt. Tormoleon's. As I have exhibited no symptoms at this time, I believe that it would be illogical to confine me to the Hospital Bay. Furthermore, it would be counter-productive to keep me away from where I am needed most in this time of crisis."

Jim took a good look at his first officer, and then sighed. "Fine. But just in case, don't go anywhere near Hanners. Even if there's little chance that you have the infection, I don't want our child to get sick because we were careless."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Why would our child be in any more danger from the illness than any other crew member, Captain?"

"For someone so knowledgeable, you certainly don't know some important stuff. Little kids don't have as good of immune systems as adults. Something like this could get Hanners really sick."

"I see. I will attempt to, as humans say, 'steer clear' of Hannelore."

Kirk nodded and the two proceeded to exit the Medical Bay.

"W-Wait!"

Jim and Spock turned around; Chapel was running towards them.

"Miss Chapel? Is something the matter?" Spock asked.

"M-Mr. Spock, please… Don't go!" Chapel's eyes were huge and pleading, and she looked as if she was about to burst into tears.

"Nurse, I am needed at the bridge." Spock stated, a hint of confusion highlighting his usual calm.

"B-But… no! I…"

Suddenly she leaped forward, wrapping her arms around Spock's neck.

"I love you!" She blurted out, leaning forward and pulling Spock's lips to her own.

The silence of the empty hall next to them seemed to suffocate everyone.

Kirk wanted to break something. What the hell was Christine doing to _his _Spock- Wait, what?

Bones wanted to kill Spock. What did that hobgoblin think he was doing with _his _Christine- Wait, what?

A nearby Yeoman cleared her throat as Chapel pulled away from Spock. "Uh… Captain? U-Um, you and Mr. Spock are needed at the bridge immediately, sir. Sh-Should I tell them you'll be there in five minutes?"

Jim immediately snapped out of his fog. "Y-Yeah, I-I should probably go check on Rand and Hanners." He cleared his throat, patting Spock's shoulder sympathetically. "G-Good luck, Spock."

The First Officer immediately turned towards his Captain. "Captain, I-"

But Jim was already gone.

-SUSPENSE-

Heavy breathing was heard as a certain Captain rushed down the hall.

_What… What the FUCK was that? M-My Spock? Why did I think that when Christine… kissed him?_

Jim narrowly dodged a passing yeoman as he turned a corner.

_He's not mine. Why would I think that he was MY Spock? Spock… Spock doesn't belong to anybody!_

Another corner. Dodge Science Officer.

_I mean, yeah, Spock's kinda my best friend next to Bones, but… He can date whoever the hell he wants, can't he? I don't care if he goes out with Chapel. I can't control him, and why should I want to? Just cause I feel like my heart's gonna stop whenever I'm around him, or I can't help but smile whenever I see him, or I find myself thinking about him all the time… It's not like I have _feelings _for Spock or any- Oh._

Jim stopped dead in his tracks as the realization hit him.

_Oh._

"I-I'm… I'm in love with Spock, aren't I?"

The empty hallway's silence was his only reply.

**A/N: Okay, fangirls.**

**Jim realized it. You may now squeal if you like.**

**And 'Super Baby' is a game that Dad used to play with my sister when we were all little kids. Ah, memories…**

**I do not own anything but Hanners and this fic. **


	5. The Naked Time, pt 2 CONCLUSION

**A/N: … Eh, I'm bored and I got nothing else to do.**

So.

Jim was in love with Spock.

Spock, his First Officer.

Spock, his best friend (besides Bones, of course).

Spock, who had only ever shown the slightest hint of romantic interest towards a _woman_.

Jim leaned on the wall and slid to the floor. He truly was screwed this time.

It wasn't the fact that Spock was male that had Kirk so riled up; he'd been with almost as many men as he'd been with women back in his academy days.

It was just that… it was _Spock_, for crying out loud! Out of everyone, why an emotionally challenged half-Vulcan? And one who Jim was pretty sure was _straight_ at that! Even if Spock _did _reciprocate his feelings, what about all the risks? Personnel weren't supposed to have relationships (he'd only let Spock and Uhura date because of how much of a dick he'd been to Spock), and in any case, what about Hanners? How would she be affected? What would happen if he and Spock, God forbid, were to break up?

Jim shook his head. _This isn't the time to worry about such things. My ship needs me._

-To Boldly Go-

Spock had no idea what to think.

After letting Chapel down easy, he'd quickly gotten away from there as quickly as possible, trying to head to the bridge.

However, a nagging thought kept his mind occupied.

_Have I ever truly loved someone?_

Nyota. He definitely had held a degree of affection for her, yes, but he did not love her.

T'Pring. No, he had never loved her, he had barely known her.

His mother… did he love her? Yes, he definitely had.

But… had he ever told her that?

No. He had never told her how much she meant to him.

Spock shook his head. _I must remain logical. I am in control of my emotions._

With that, the First Officer walked into the bridge… and nearly had his head sliced off.

"HALT! Who goes there?"

Spock truly had never seen a stranger sight in his entire life. Most of the bridge crew was hiding behind chairs, Kirk was on the floor with the front of his shirt shredded, and Sulu was shirtless, holding a saber in one hand and the opposite arm wrapped around Ensign Chekov. Also, someone named Riley had apparently taken over the helm and was now belting out some odd, extremely old Terran folk song.

Today was definitely the strangest day of all of their lives.

"Do not fear, fair maiden! I shall protect you from the pointy-eared devil!"

"B-But I am neither fair nor a maiden! Please let go of me, Hikaru!" Chekov cried.

And now it was even stranger. A slight sigh escaping his lips, Spock quickly nerve-pinched the fencing Lieutenant, who immediately dropped to the floor.

"Before you state anything Captain, Chapel has already infected me. I will go with Ensign Chekov and Lt. Sulu to the Sick Bay." With one motion, the tall half-Vulcan slung the unconscious Asian man over his shoulder and exited the bridge, Chekov trailing slowly behind him.

Just then, Riley's singing stopped. A slight struggled transpired, and then Scotty's voice came over the intercom.

"_Engineering tah bridge, can ya hear me? We stole those wonky suits that Bones made Spock and Tormoleon so we could get back tah the Engines. We're sending him tah Sick Bay now. We should be able tah- Ah, bloody 'ell!"_

"What? What's up, Scotty?"

"_That blitherin' doober Riley managed tah shut down all the engines! Now I gotta restart 'er up!"_

Jim swallowed nervously. "Uh… how long will that take?"

"_I cannae say fae sure, Cap'n, but I think it'll be at least another thirty minutes."_

"Captain, the planet will completely disintegrate in less than eight minutes, at the most."

Jim swore. "Scotty, is there any way that we could get out of here without a total restart!"

"_Well, there is _one _way, but… we'd either be desperate or just bloody fuckin' nuts tah try it!"_

"We're kinda both right now! What is it?"

"_We'd have tah do a cold restart with a controlled matter-antimatter implosion in balanced engines. I can do it, but I'll need Spock's help."_

"Alright. Uhura, you have the conn. I gotta go find that stupid half-Vulcan."

-Where No Man Has Gone Before-

"Dammit, where is he?"

After finding out that Spock had dropped Sulu and Chekov off at the Sick Bay and then disappeared, Kirk had been forced to start a wild hunt for his missing First Officer. He'd also learned that McCoy had found a cure for the virus, but at the moment he really didn't care about that.

_When I find that bastard, I'm gonna slap him so hard, _Hanners _will feel it!_

Suddenly, Kirk heard soft sobbing noises coming from the nearby briefing room.

"What the…"

Cautiously, Kirk opened the door, only to find the exact person he was looking for.

Face down on the table, bawling his eyes out.

"S-Spock?"

Spock shot up, his face contorted with pure anguish. "C-Captain… My mother… I-I never told her how I much I loved her…"

"Wha- Spock this isn't the time! We've only got four minutes until the planet is destroyed and us along with it!"

"A-An earth woman, living on a planet where love… emotion… is in bad taste…"

Kirk grabbed his First Officer and pulled him to his feet. "Listen, you! We've gotta risk a full power start! Riley shut off the engines and there's no time to regenerate! Do you hear me! We've got to risk a full power start!"

"I-I was ashamed of my own mother! I-I cannot express love to anyone, not even my own mother or my own child!"

Right then, Kirk wanted to hug the living crap out of his First Officer, but he knew that he had to snap him out of this funk.

So he slapped him. Right across the face.

"Spock, _The Enterprise _needs you! Hanners needs you! Goddammit, I… _I need you_!"

Spock stared at his friend, his cheek still stinging. "J-Jim… when I feel friendship for you… I am ashamed."

Kirk's heart sunk a little at that, but he couldn't waste time. "Dammit, Spock, listen to me!" Another slap. He would have slapped Spock a third time, but the First Officer caught his hand. "We need a formula! We've got to risk implosion!"

"Never. Been. Done!" Spock stated, prying Jim's grip away from his hand. "Understand, Jim. I have spent an entire lifetime, learning to hide my feelings-"

That was as far as he got before Jim slapped him again. This time, however, Spock responded in kind, sending Jim over the table before running out of the room.

Jim groaned, and then sat up. His eyes widened as he realized where Spock was going.

"Wait, Spock! Don't go near her!"

-SPIIIIRK!-

And again, Kirk was running. This time, however, he didn't care about how tired he was. He didn't care about the implosion. He didn't care about the planet.

He had to stop Spock, had to get to her before him.

He rounded the corner and saw he was too late. Spock was already kneeled down, eye-to-eye with her.

"SPOCK! Don't touch her!"

But the Science Officer didn't hear him. "H-Hannelore… Dear, sweet Hannelore… I-I… I…"

Hanners looked up into those brown eyes that matched her own. Slowly, she moved forward and placed one small hand on each of her father's temples.

And a plethora of emotion flooded Spock's mind.

_Happiness. Compassion. Loyalty. Concern. Warmth. Family._

_Love._

_I love you. You're strange, you're stubborn, and some day you'll probably drive me up the wall, but I love you, Father. So please, don't think I don't care for you. And don't think I don't know that you love me, either._

Spock's eyes widened, tears falling freely now. "H-Hannelore… I…"

The little girl placed a tiny index finger to his lips, and then pulled at the corners of his mouth, which she contorted into a smile.

_Smile, please. Smile for me._

Against his better judgement, the smile remained when her fingers fell back to her side.

"Uh… what just happened?"

Spock stood up, the smile a bit smaller now, but still there. "When you are ready, Captain, we should return to the bridge."

-STAR TREK-

"I love this ship, Spock! Don't you love it?"

"Captain, please calm down."

The infection was now in full throttle for Jim. Currently, Spock was attempting to convene with the Engineers via a PADD. However, with Jim hanging all over him, this task was nearly impossible.

His Captain –dare he say it- giggled. "Heeey, Sppooock…"

"Captain, I am currently attempting to save all of us from certain death. Please sit in your seat and play Tetris like you normally do."

Jim pouted. "But mean ol' Nyota disabled games and won't fix it!"

"I can HEAR you, you know!" Uhura yelled.

"Sir, I cannot be interrupted. Please sit down."

"Okay! But first, lemme tell you a secret!"

Spock sighed in defeat. "Quickly, Captain."

Kirk giggled. "Okay! Remember when Scotty was all pissed cuz somebody stole his Scotch? Weeell… It was Bones!"

"_He WHAT? Oh, if we make it outta this alive, I'm gonna give that bastard such a beatin'-"_

"Focus, Mr. Scott."

"_Right. Sorry."_

With one last calculation, Spock finished off the formula. "Captain, take your seat, we are about to attempt a full start."

"Okay! Anything for you, Spock…"

Spock paused; swallowing as he suppressed what felt like heat in his face, and then shook it off as he knelt by the Captain's chair.

Almost immediately Kirk took his hand. The blush broke out of Spock's control, a bright shade of green marring his features.

"Captain-"

"Never lose you. Never." The Captain seemed to whisper, but to who was unknown.

Cue the implosion.

-Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a…-

The implosion proved successful.

Extremely so. In fact, it was so successful that it sent the ship back three days in time.

They decided _not _to go to Psi 2000.

"C'mon, Pavel, what do you want from me? I said I was sorry like a hundred times!"

"Zat is not good enough! You treated me like helpless damsel in distress! If you vant my forgiveness, I demand that you be slave for three veeks!"

"WHAT? B-But I…" Sulu sighed. "Okay fine. What do you want?"

"Ah-ah-ah! 'Vhat do you vant…'?"

"… Master Chekov." Sulu muttered, bowing deeply to the Russian.

"Zat's more like it!"

Anyone lucky enough to witness this conversation laughed. Hikaru wouldn't be hearing the end of this for a _long _time.

"Y'know, I still don't really get something." Kirk said. Spock and Bones turned to him.

"What is it that you don't understand, sir?"

"If Hanners touched you, how come she didn't show any signs of infection?"

"I have been pondering the same question, actually."

Bones groaned. "Are you two actually this stupid? Hanners isn't even one yet!"

The pair looked at the Doctor, puzzled. Bones sighed.

"Look, the virus suppressed inhibitions, right? Little kids don't _have _inhibitions. They're too young to see any reason not to be themselves."

Kirk stared at Bones, bewildered. Spock had both eyebrows raised.

"What? I'm a dad too, ya know."

"… Well, whatever. At least Hanners is safe." Kirk said, holding the little girl close.

"Daaaaaddddyy."

Kirk froze. Did she just…

"Daddy! Daddy Daddy Daddy!"

"Oh… Oh my God. Th-That's right, baby. I'm Daddy." Kirk said, tears of joy forming in his eyes.

Hannelore cooed and looked over at Spock. "Saaa-mekh!"

Spock's eyes widened. "That… That is correct, Hannelore."

The little girl giggled, then turned back to her weeping father, a puzzled look on her face.

"No cry! Daddy no cry!" She commanded as she clumsily wiped the tears out of his eyes.

"N-No, Daddy won't cry anymore, sweetie."

**A/N: And thus concludes the Naked Time. Please exit out the stage doors, and thank you for joining us!**


	6. Marriage!

**A/N: *waves nervously* Uh, hi, guys! What's up?**

***crickets and angry glares***

**I'm sorry, I know it's been a long time, but… colorful cartoon ponies are very distracting! And also Mass Effect. Mass Effect is awesome. Except Mass Effect 3's ending. That SUCKED.**

**Anyhow, let's get down to it!**

**(Also, upon re-reading, I realized I got the date wrong for Hannelore's birth. It should be around 2262, not 2254. My bad ^^').**

In the aftermath of the Psi incident, Kirk had come to a decision: In order to rid himself of his feelings for Spock, he had to treat him as if he was simply a co-worker, not his friend or the other genetic parent of his only daughter. Be professional in the bridge. If you see him in the hall, give him a non-committal head nod. Nothing more, nothing less.

Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. Spock seemed to be everywhere Jim needed to go, and even when he wasn't, there was always something to remind him of the half-Vulcan.

So, a list of things Jim hated about his life currently:

His father died about one minute after he was born.

His mother was never around when he was a kid.

He was once marooned on an ice planet.

His best friend insists on shoving hypos into his neck all the time.

And what he hated most about his life?

He was crazy in love with his First Officer, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

"Jim? Are you listening?"

Uhura's voice caused him to jump a bit.

"Ah, sorry, what was that?"

If Jim didn't know any better, he would have thought that Uhura looked concerned about him. "I was telling you about the First Contact orders with Beldravia Starfleet just sent us. Are you feeling okay? You've been out of it all week."

_Crap, is it that noticeable? _"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Hanners has just been kind of hyper lately, and she's sort of wearing me out."

"Captain, I have not noticed any changes in Hannelore's behavior as of late. Her energy levels do not appear to have varied at all."

"I-Is that right? Well, I guess she just is better behaved while she's with you, then."

Spock looked like he was about to say something else, but just then a young lady in a medical uniform walked onto the bridge.

"Captain?"

"Yeah?"

"Dr. McCoy wants to see you in the Medical Bay immediately."

Jim groaned. He somehow just _knew _this was gonna end with a hypo to the neck. "Can't you tell him I'm busy?"

"He told me to tell you that he'd force you to play tea party with Joanna and then blackmail you if you tried to get out of it."

_Sometimes I really hate Bones. _"Fine. Mr. Spock, you have the conn."

-To Boldly Go-

The doors to the Medical Bay hissed open, letting Jim into the room. "Alright, Bones, I'm here. What is it?"

The good doctor walked over to Jim, stared at him for a minute, and then smacked him upside the head.

"OW! What the hell was _that _for?"

"Because you need to stop acting like your dog died."

"Wha- I haven't been acting like my dog died!"

"Well obviously _something's _the matter! You haven't been yourself lately, Jim. In fact, ever since the incident on Psi 2000, you've been more somber than an old war veteran."

Jim swallowed nervously. "N-No I haven't! You're just imagining things, Bones."

"The hell I am! Dammit, Jim, I know you! You've obviously got something weighing on your mind, so just swallow your pride and talk to me!"

Kirk sighed, then searched the bay. Chapel seemed to be preoccupied with something, and there wasn't anyone else in earshot. "Okay, two things. One, you can't laugh, and two, you can't tell _anybody. _Got it?"

"Does Hannelore count?"

"_Yes! _Especially Hanners!" _She probably has a bond with Spock by now, and if she were to tell him…_

Jim pushed that thought to the back of his mind. "Alright… I, um… I think I'm… kinda in love with Spock. Just a little bit."

Bones stared at him. Then immediately burst out laughing.

"Y-You said you wouldn't laugh!" Jim yelled indignantly.

"S-Sorry! I-I just… God, that's a good one, pal! You, in love with _Spock! _HAHAHAHAHAH!" The doctor took a deep breath and wiped a tear from his eye. "So, what's _really _the matter?"

Kirk glared at his best friend. In about ten seconds, his expression went from gleeful to in shock.

"Wait… holy _shit_, you were _serious_?"

Jim huffed, turning away. "I… I wouldn't joke about something like that!"

McCoy cocked an eyebrow. "Yes you would. At the academy, you told me you were having an affair with Pike."

"Well that was different! I was a stupid kid who thought it would be hilarious to start a completely impossible rumor!"

McCoy sighed. "Jeez, out of all the people you could've fallen for, why'd it have to be the most emotionally challenged person who's ever lived?"

"It's not like I _want _to have these feelings for him! He's my best friend!"

McCoy raised an eyebrow again.

"My best half-Vulcan friend, Bones. And besides, even if, and that's a huge if, he for some inconceivable reason liked me back, there's just too much risk! If Starfleet found out, we'd be split up for sure! And what about Hanners? If we break up, she'll never have a normal life!"

"Jim, you do realize that Hanners wasn't ever gonna have a normal life anyway, right? I mean, both of her biological parents are guys, she was conceived through some sort of binary cloning thingy, and she lives on a starship. If she turns out _remotely _normal, then it's a miracle."

Jim sighed, raising his palm to his forehead. "I just… this stupid crush just makes things too complicated, ya know?"

Bones sighed. "Look, kid, I'm a medical doctor, not a therapist. I can't help you make this any easier. You're just gonna have to suck it up and try not to let your… _feelings _for Spock get in the way of your duties, both towards the ship and towards your daughter."

Just then, the Med-Bay doors hissed open once again.

"Daaaaaddddyy!"

"Speak of the devil."

Using Rand as a support, the tiny hybrid waddled over to her human parent. Kirk smiled, picking up the little girl.

"Hey, sweetie. Aren't you supposed to be taking a nap?"

"Story!"

Kirk laughed. "Okay, fine, _one_ story. Then you have to take a nap, alright?"

"Yaaay!"

-Where No Man Has Gone Before-

After finally putting his pointy-eared daughter down for a nap (one story had become six quite quickly), Kirk headed towards the transport bay, ready to make First Contact with the Beldravians.

"Alright, Scotty, let's get this party-" Kirk halted in both movement and in speech upon seeing his First Officer in the transport bay. "S-Spock? Er, aren't you supposed to be… doing something… science-y?"

One dark eyebrow arched. "Starfleet requested that I be sent on this mission, Captain. As I thought, you were not paying attention during the orders."

Jim flushed slightly at the amusement in Spock's voice, as if he was a cute little puppy or something. "Mr. Spock, I-I have to ask that you refrain from speaking to me as if I'm a child."

The room fell silent, as Scotty, Bones (he was coming along as well), and all the other people in the room stared at their captain incredulously. Shaking off their gazes, the Captain made his way over to the pads.

"If we could please move this along, that'd be great."

-SPIIIIIIIIIIRK!-

The Beldravians were a festive people, very hospitable and excitable. When they had arrived on the planet's tropical forest like surface, the trio had been lifted onto a float and paraded around a small village. Once that was finished, a party was held in their honor.

As they had an alcohol like substance, Bones was drunk in about twenty minutes. Spock simply said, "Perhaps taking Dr. McCoy along on this excursion was not in the best interest of us. Or of Starfleet."

Kirk, however, found the doctor's drunken antics to be hysterical. "Are you kidding me? I haven't seen Bones table dance since that one time after finals! Oh, man, why didn't I bring a camera?"

If Spock was any more human, he would have rolled his eyes.

Deciding that drunken Bones was hilarious but kind of getting old, Jim decided to look around. The planet was teeming with exotic plant life, sort of like a global rain forest. Everywhere you looked neon fruits dotted colorful trees, a rainbow of life.

One fruit in particular caught Kirk's eye. It was egg-shaped, around the size of a football, and was neon pink with navy blue (or was it royal blue? Wait, why did he care?) spots all over it, the curved leaves matching the spots. Mesmerized by the colors of the fruit, he reached upwards for it.

Now, James Tiberius Kirk was by no means short. In fact, he was relatively tall compared to most of the men aboard the _Enterprise_. However, the tree was quite a bit taller than the Captain, leaving the fruit just out of reach. When he realized that at his height he'd never get the fruit, Kirk did the logical thing: He began to jump up and down. Still, the fruit remained barely out of his grasp.

"Captain, if I may, what exactly are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm tryin' to get that friggin' fruit down!" Kirk yelled in frustration, not even caring that he was talking to Spock like he normally did instead of in the formal manner he'd put to use.

Spock looked up at the neon-colored fruit. With ease, the First Officer reached up and plucked the spotted produce from the tree, handing it to his Captain. Kirk glared at him.

"Show off," he muttered, taking the fruit from him and splitting it in half, offering one half to his First Officer.

"No thank you, Captain."

"Oh, come on, just take it. You helped get it down, may as well have some."

Spock raised an eyebrow, but obliged his Captain. At the same exact time, both men bit into the fruit, which had a taste like someone had mixed strawberries and mangoes.

Right then, the party fell silent. Kirk looked at the crowd, confused as to why the festivities had stopped.

"Um… did we do something wrong?"

"CONGRATULATIONS!" The crowd of Beldravians cheered, swarming the pair of very confused Starfleet officers.

"Congratulations? For what?"

"You two have shared the fruit of the Elder Tree. You are now married!"

The pair stared at the crowd, and then at each other.

"_WHAT THE FUCK?"_

**A/N: Does Spock and Kirk getting married on accident forgive my long absence? Please?**


	7. Duty to Starfleet

**A/N: Because I still feel bad for neglecting you all for so long, here, have another chapter!**

**Also, if I don't get this off my chest, I'm gonna scream: It has been confirmed who will be playing the villain in the next Star Trek Movie.**

**BENEDICT.**

**EFFIN'.**

**CUMBERBATCH.**

***cue fangirlish squeals***

**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! **

Once they had managed to bid adieu to the adoring azure people of Beldravia (and get the now passed out McCoy onto a transporter), Spock and Kirk dashed into the bridge. For some reason, Pike was already on the line, but there were more important matters to attend to.

"Oh, hey Jim, how are… why does your First Officer have your CMO slung over his shoulder?"

"Later! There's a more pressing matter at hand!"

Pike cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? And what would that be?"

"… Spock and I kinda got married."

After staring at Kirk in shock for a second, the Admiral leaned off screen. "Hey, Frank, I won the bet! Mazel tov, you two!"

"NO! This isn't a good thing! We got married on accident!"

After a short silence, the Admiral sighed and leaned off screen again. "Never mind, Frank. Okay, Kirk, how, exactly, did you go about _marrying_ your First Officer on _accident_?"

"Er… well, there was this weird fruit, okay, and I couldn't reach it, so Spock helped me, and then we split the fruit, and wham! We were apparently married, according to the Beldravians."

A short silence ensued. Then everyone on the bridge (excluding McCoy, Kirk, and Spock) and Pike burst out laughing hysterically.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Kirk screamed, completely and totally maddened by the behavior of everyone else.

Pike took a deep breath and wiped tears out of the corners of his eyes. "Haa… Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch, Jim! You gotta admit, it's pretty ridiculous!"

The Captain huffed. "Yeah, I bet it'd be _hilarious _if it happened to _McCoy_."

Said doctor simply snored loudly.

"Admiral, is there by any chance a regulation for this sort of thing?"

"Oh, sure, this actually happens all the time with First Contact missions. In fact, it's kinda suspicious when it doesn't! As far as Starfleet is concerned, unless the marriage is filed, it doesn't count."

Kirk breathed a sigh of relief. While he wasn't opposed to the idea of being with Spock, marriage was just… not something he was ready for, in any way, shape or form.

"However…"

Jim's head snapped up. "'However'? Why are you saying that, you just said the marriage doesn't count?"

"In Starfleet's eyes, yes, but to the Beldravians, you two _are _lawfully wedded."

Kirk stared in shock. "Eh?"

"And as you've probably figured out, their planet is a veritable wonderland of resources."

"_Eh?_"

"With that in mind, we risk losing out on a valuable trade partner if we upset them…"

"_**Eh?"**_

"So, for the remainder of the mission, I'm gonna have to ask that you two just go with it, as part of your duty to the Federation."

"_**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHH?" **_

With his captain in a state of shock, Spock responded to the Admiral's request. "Very well, then, Admiral Pike. The Captain and I will attempt to uphold this façade. _Enterprise_ out."

As Pike's face faded from the screen, Kirk turned to his First Officer, a mix of infuriation and bewilderment on his face. "WHAT THE FUCK, SPOCK?"

"Forgive me Captain, but I am certain that it would not be wise to upset these people."

"Spock, they're a bunch of _party animals! _What harm could they do?"

"They are not the problem. The resources that this planet may provide would be lost to us if they refuse to cooperate. No matter how strange it may be, we must think of our duty to Starfleet before our own comfort."

Kirk huffed, crossing his arms. "I still don't like this!"

"Is the idea of feigning a marriage that repulsive to you, sir?"

"No, that's not it…"

"Then is it the fact that you must masquerade as my spouse what revolts you?"

Kirk flushed at the suggestion. In truth, the whole "Spock is my husband" part wasn't what made him unhappy.

It was the fact that it was only just an act, pretend.

"W-Well, duh! It's really awkward! Why would I ever want to marry _you_, of all people? Ridiculous!"

_No it isn't._

"I see. I will attempt to accommodate your feelings about this farce as well as possible, then."

_Heh, if only he knew why I really don't wanna do this._

"Great, then. I'm gonna check on Hanners, if you don't mind. Make sure Bones doesn't choke on his own vomit."

-To Boldly Go-

Hannelore cooed, reaching out for her father, who smiled kindly at her.

"Hey, baby. Have you been good today?" Kirk asked, taking the toddler into his arms.

"No!" Hanners replied, giggling.

"So you were a bad girl today?"

"No!" She stated, giggling more.

"Oh, then you're just a silly Billy, huh? Well, do you know what happens to little silly Billies?"

Hanners giggled once again. "No!"

"They… get a visit from the tickle monster! RAWR!"

The little girl squealed in delight as her dad launched a full-out tickle attack. After a moment, the laughter died down, Kirk smiling at his brown-eyed daughter.

Brown eyes, round and full of affection, just for him and no one else, staring back at him.

Those eyes that were so like Spock's eyes, exactly like his in all but one aspect:

Spock would never look at him with the same love, the same affection that Hannelore's eyes always held. The half-Vulcan would never feel the same way as Jim, never would be his, never would love him.

Out of his own blue eyes, a tear slid down Kirk's cheeks and fell to the floor.

Hanners immediately went from delighted to worried. The tiny quarter-Vulcan placed one hand on her father's cheek, tears beginning to slide over the pale skin.

"Daddy… sad?" She asked, obviously concerned for her father.

Despite his self-pitying sorrow, Kirk managed to smile.

"Yeah. Daddy's very sad, sweetie."

-Where No Man Has Gone Before-

After placing Dr. McCoy in the care of Nurse Chapel, Spock had returned to the bridge. However, within minutes of beginning his work, he felt Hannelore poke tentatively at the fledgling bond that had begun to form between them.

_Yes, Hannelore?_

_Daddy is sad. _Very_ sad._

Kirk was… upset? He had seemed irritated before, when Spock had agreed to feign their marriage, but… he had not seemed distressed.

_How do you know that your father is upset?_

_Crying._

This startled Spock. Kirk had cried? And in front of Hannelore, no less? He had seen Kirk cry, of course, but that was from joy, when their daughter had spoken her first words.

What could possibly cause Kirk such great sadness that he began to weep?

_I see. I shall talk to him about it. Thank you, Hannelore._

_Bye-bye!_

As his daughter's presence faded from his mind, Spock began to recount the events of the day, attempting to forge a logical conclusion as to why his usually jubilant captain would be crying.

The only conclusion he came to was that emotions could not be handled in a logical manner.

-SPIIIIIIIIRK!-

Kirk yawned, the sleepless night he'd had taking its toll on him. He couldn't stop worrying about all the ways that this could possibly go wrong. What if he couldn't make the farce convincing? Or what if it was _too _convincing and Spock got suspicious? What if-

"Good morning, Captain."

Kirk jumped in shock. "Jeez, a little warning next time, man! Are you trying to give me a heart attack or something?"

"Sir, would it not be counterproductive to our mission to cause you to enter cardiac arrest?"

Kirk grimaced at his First Officer. "Argh, don't try to use logic, Spock! It's too early!"

"Apologies, Captain." For a moment, the pair was silent. Then Spock spoke again. "Captain, Hannelore has informed me that you… lost your composure yesterday."

Kirk made a sound similar to a choking cat. "A-Ah, did she now? It's nothing to worry about; I was just… frustrated about how silly this thing is! I mean, we have to pretend to be married, for the love of God!"

"She said that you seemed sad rather than frustrated, sir."

"W-Well, she was mistaken. Just… just let it go, alright? It's nothing."

Spock stared at his friend for a moment, something akin to concern nearly showing on his face, but in the end he sighed quietly. "As you wish, sir."

As the conversation ended, a slightly hungover Bones entered the transport bay, ready to accompany them down once more.

"Hey Bones! How's the hangover treating ya?"

"Piss off, Jim." The haggard doctor muttered as he joined them on the transporter.

Right as Scotty was preparing to beam down to the planet, Jim did something he was pretty sure he'd kick himself for later.

Without giving himself time to second guess it, he grabbed Spock's hand, pulling it close to his side, ignoring the pounding in his chest and the heat rising in his cheeks.

"C-Captain?"

"We're supposed to be together, right? If we want to convince 'em, we gotta act the part." Out of the corner of his eyes, he thought he saw a tinge of green color Spock's features.

Bones stared at the joined hands, but said nothing, deciding to grill Jim later when he didn't have a headache.

-Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a…!-

"Oh, it's just so sweet! You and your husband are so adorable together!"

Jim grinned nervously, cursing himself inwardly for ever letting go of Spock's hand, even if was just for a second. Now he was surrounded by a bunch of bubble-headed Beldravian women, who insisted on cooing and gushing over his 'marriage' to Spock.

"So tell us, Jim, when did you first know that you loved, ah, Spock, was it?"

Jim rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "W-Well, it took a while, to be honest. When we first met, we kinda hated each other."

The vapid blue beauties gasped, incredulous at this revelation. "No. Way. You despised each other? But you're so in love now!"

"Ain't that the truth. He had me marooned on an ice planet once. Not the best way to start, huh? But… I guess over time… I don't know, it just kinda happened, I suppose."

"Awww!" The harpies all gushed excitedly.

"Well, you certainly know how to pick them, Kirk! I wish Beldravian men were even half as, oh what's the word, sexy as your lover is!"

Kirk flushed. "Y-Yeah, I guess." _Oh God please send me a savior before they start asking questions about our non-existent sex life!_

"Ca- Jim? Are you here?"

_YES! Thank you Jesus! _"Over here, honey!"

Spock, most likely a bit put off by being called 'honey', walked over to his 'husband', whom he immediately took by the hand.

"Jim, the Beldravian Council is ready to negotiate an agreement with the Federation."

"Great! Well, ladies, it's been fun, but duty calls!"

The women groaned, upset by the loss of their new toy. Then one woman piped up with, "Oh! Before you go, can we see the happy couple exchange a kiss?"

"Oooh! Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

Kirk swallowed; sure he was the color of a ripe tomato. Slowly, he turned towards Spock, whose eyes seemed to say, _Our duty to Starfleet comes first, Captain._

Not believing that he was about to do this, Kirk moved in towards his 'husband', who did the same. Closer, closer, closer…

Jim swore sparks flew when half-Vulcan lips brushed against his.

**A/N: …**

**Words can't describe how happy I am to finally write this kiss.**

**How are you guys feeling?**


	8. Shore Leave, part 1

**A/N: I have only one thing to say:**

**I am seriously considering going to medical school, doing endless research, and eventually finding a cure for diabetes, if only so my house will NO LONGER SMELL LIKE FISH.**

**/mini-rant.**

**On another note, I now have 50 alerts on this story! YAAAAY!**

After the Beldravians had agreed to become a part of the Federation and therefore share their resources, the _Enterprise_ had gotten out of there, leaving behind the party animals and the charade of a marriage.

On the kiss, it was pretty clear that both parties simply didn't want to talk about it. Pretending like it never happened just was… well, for lack of a better word, _logical _to them, and _only_ to them, for that matter. For a week after the incident, both Bones and Uhura had hounded Jim and Spock, respectively, to admit that there was a _little _bit of actual emotion behind that kiss.

"Oh, come on, kid! Just a week ago you told me that you were in _love _with the guy, and now you're saying kissing him meant _nothing?_"

"It didn't mean anything because it was just to fool the Beldravians! Even if I do love him, and I'm not even sure that I _am_, he didn't kiss me because he wanted to, but because it was our duty to Starfleet. Period."

"But-"

"_Period, _Bones!"

Meanwhile, Uhura was questioning Spock endlessly, trying to get just a little bit of information out of him.

"Spock, I know you. You're not the kind of guy that would just kiss somebody and then act like it never happened. If you like him, then just admit it!"

"You do not know me as well as you seem to believe, Lieutenant Uhura. I hold no romantic affection for the Captain. It was simply a part of the charade to keep the Beldravians from changing their minds, and that is final."

"Spock-"

"This conversation is _over_, Lieutenant."

In both cases, the questioner had sighed, thrown up their hands in exasperation, muttered "Fine, you win," and walked out the door in defeat. In Uhura's case, however, the moment that she walked out the door she ran straight into Scotty, who _was _just passing by, but overheard the entire conversation instead.

"Er… 'Ello, Lieutenant Uhura, how have ye been?"

"You… overheard the entire conversation, didn't you?"

"… Aye, Ah did."

Uhura sighed, placing a hand to her forehead and leaning against a nearby wall. "Bet this looks pretty weird, huh? Here I am, his ex-girlfriend, trying to get him to admit his feelings for someone else, and to top it off, that person's our very _male _Captain! How did this even happen, I wonder…"

Scotty sighed as well, rubbing the back of his head and leaning against the same wall. "Ah cannae tell ye that, lassie. I can say this, tho': Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye."

"… What the hell does that even _mean_?"

"What's meant tah happen will happen. If they're ever gaunnae admit how they really feel 'bout each other, then they'll do it someday on their own. Til then, there's no use in tryin' tah get them to do it now."

Uhura smiled. "I guess… What really bothers me is how much I _want _it to happen, though. In every movie I've seen, the ex-girlfriend is supposed to be this jealous bitch that everyone hates and tries to keep the guy from ending up with the new girl, or guy in this case, I guess. But I'm not at all jealous of Kirk and Spock. In fact… I think I'd be happier seeing _them_ together than when _I _was with Spock! Am I crazy for wanting my ex-boyfriend and someone else to be together?"

"Ah dinnae think yer aff yer heid fer wanting the Commander tah be happy, lassie."

Once again, Uhura gave him a confused glance.

"That is tah say, Ah dinnae think yer mad fer wanting him tah be with the one he likes. Ah think it just means that ye don't hae any feelings left fer him."

Uhura stared at him for a minute, and then smiled. "Yeah… I think that's it. I guess I really just have moved on from him, and that's all there is to it. I'm over Spock."

Scotty smiled, and then his eyebrows shot up in surprise as Uhura hugged him suddenly. A flash of warmth rushed to his face.

"L-Lieutenant?"

"Thanks, Scotty. For listening." She said, letting him go and turning to walk away.

"N-No problem. Always around if ye wanna hae a blether."

For a third time, Uhura looked to give the Scotsman a confused glance.

"Chat, Lieutenant Uhura."

Once more, she smiled. "Call me Nyota, Scotty."

-To Boldly Go-

"YAHOO!"

The Captain's enthusiastic cries could be heard all the way from the bridge to the Medical Bay, startling one Christine Chapel and making one Leonard McCoy huff in annoyance.

"What's _he_ so excited about?"

"Shore leave, I'd reckon. Tell him he gets to go on vacation and he acts like a six-year-old on their summer break." Bones muttered indignantly.

"_You _don't seem too delighted at the idea of time off. Won't you be going to see your daughter?"

Again, McCoy huffed. "That I will, but with my luck, I'll probably end up seeing my ex-wife too."

"Ooh… Well, best of luck to you, then."

Meanwhile, Kirk, like many other crew members, was busily preparing to arrive back on Earth.

"Jamaica, here I come~!" The Captain chirped, slinging his pack over his flower-shirt clad shoulder.

"Captain, I believe that you are forgetting something."

Kirk turned to his First Officer, a confused expression on his face. "I am? Um… sunscreen, clothes, passport… Nope! I've got everything I need to go on a tropical vacation!"

"Where then, sir, does your daughter fit into this plan?"

Kirk froze. "… Shit. Forgot about that. Well… um…" The Captain sighed, defeated. "Fine, then. Guess Jamaica's out if I have to take care of her. S'pose I'll have to go home, then. My brother's been bugging me about not staying in touch with him for a while, so I guess a visit's in order."

"A fine idea, Captain. I am sure that your brother will be glad to meet his niece for the first time."

Kirk said nothing.

"Captain, you _have _informed him that he has a niece currently, correct?"

"Er… it slipped my mind?"

Spock sighed, in the back of his mind thinking that he should have surmised that the Captain would have forgotten to inform his family of Hannelore's existence.

"W-Well, what about you, then? What are you gonna do on shore leave?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I do not see how that is relevant, but very well. I was planning on returning to the Academy. The Council is holding a series of lectures on the physics of advanced space travel, which I believe would be beneficial to have some knowledge of."

Kirk recoiled, not believing that Spock would want to do _more_ work while he was on vacation. "What? But… Spock, don't you know what a vacation is supposed to_ be_?"

"A 'vacation' is a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, relaxation, or travel. Why do you ask?"

"Because your plans involve doing the exact same thing that you do at your _job_! Shore leave is for not doing any work ever for weeks on end!"

"I do not see how attending a lecture on physics constitutes as work, Captain."

"Well I do! Here's an idea: instead of doing more work, why don't you come to Iowa with me and Hanners?"

"The correct grammar is 'Hannelore and I', sir, and no thank you."

Kirk's eyebrows shot up. "Eh? Why not?"

"Because I have no interest in spending time with you and your family, mainly because I remain unacquainted with them."

"Hey, you're gonna have to meet 'em someday! Better now than when Hannelore's all grown up and getting mar-" Kirk froze mid-sentence, a stupefied expression dawning on his face.

"Captain?"

"… H-Hanners… is gonna grow up… and get married…"

Again, the half-Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "That would be the general assumption, sir. While she may choose not to marry, it is inevitable that she will grow to maturity-"

Jim was off like a shot. "BOOOOOOONES! TELL ME THERE'S A WAY FOR HANNERS TO NEVER EVER GROW UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not the fountain of youth!"

-Where No Man Has Gone Before-

Sam Kirk whistled, connecting wire to wire, pipe to pipe in the old Chevy Corvette that he'd managed to buy off his former step-father. The car was a mess, but if there was one thing he was going to finish before he became a dad, it was getting this car into tip-top shape.

Suddenly, a piercing shriek echoed in from the house. "GAH! SAM! SAM, COME QUICK!"

Nearly hitting his head on the underbelly of the car, the engineer rolled out from under the car. "Shit, Kerry!"

It seemed he wouldn't be finishing this car before becoming a father after all, if the screams coming from his Irish wife were any indication. Throwing his tools on the ground hastily and hurriedly wiping off the grease covering his hands, Sam dashed into the house, where his wife was breathing heavily whilst holding onto a chair for support.

"Fuck, shit, Kerry!" Sam cursed, bolting to his very pregnant wife and holding onto her tightly. "O-Okay, breathe in, breathe out, in, out…"

"J-Jaysus… Oh, god…" With one more deep breath, Kerry sighed. "Ah… that wasn't it."

Sam stared at her incredulously. "… Come again?"

Kerry sighed again, sitting in the chair she had previously used to keep a strong stance. "Just a false alarm, love. Oh god I'm weak as a kitten …"

Sam groaned, falling into a nearby chair. "Dammit, babe, would you quit trying to make me go into shock?"

"Oi! I ain't tryin' to do nothing! I'm the one carryin' around a babby the size of a football in me gut! Now either go get me some complan or away with ye!"

"What's the magic word-?"

"_**NOW.**_"

Deciding he didn't really want to be brutally murdered by a petite Irish woman who was eight months pregnant, Sam did as she demanded, fetching the meal supplement from the pantry. "Here you go your majesty."

"_Thank you._"

As his wife downed her supplement, the sound of tires running over pavement came from in front of the house, stopping after a second.

"Are we expectin' somebody? 'Cause I'm not lettin' anybody see me while I'm appearin' like a ganky."

"Go clean yourself up, then, I'll go see who it is and what they want."

Kerry nodded, moving towards the bedroom while Sam moved towards the front door, picking up an iron baseball bat in case it was somebody they didn't want around. Like Kerry's dad, or her three big brothers, all of whom despised Sam for some inexplicable reason.

When he saw the Federation logo on the side of the van, however, the bat slipped to the ground.

"_Jim? _Is that you?"

The younger Kirk grinned, hopping out of the transport vehicle. "Surprise! I'm on shore leave, so I thought I'd drop in for a visit-"

Immediately, the elder of the two brothers boxed Jim's shoulder. "OW! Dude!"

"What the _fuck_, man? You don't contact me for more than a year, not even a friggin' _text message_, and now you just show up out of the blue, uninvited I might add, and expect me to just welcome you with open arms? I was worried sick about you!"

"I-I've been busy!"

"With _what_, dammit? What could you have _possibly _have been so wrapped up in you couldn't even be bothered to talk to your own brother?"

Jim was about to answer, but then a soft whine came from the other side of the van.

"Hannelore, behave." A deep, monotonous voice scolded. Walking around the front of the car was an extremely tall man with curved pointed ears and raven locks cut in a uniform style. In his arms a tiny girl with less curved but still pointed ears and wispy blonde hair pulled into a short ponytail fussed quietly, obviously a bit grumpy. Both the somber man and the tiny girl had chocolate-colored eyes, though more emotion was shown in the latter's eyes.

Jim turned back to his brother. "_That _is what I was so busy with. Sam, this is my First Officer, Spock."

The aforementioned half-Vulcan nodded. "Greetings."

Jim then took the little girl in his arms. "And this little troublemaker is my daughter, Hannelore Amanda Kirk."

Sam could only stare in shock. "… What."

"I-It's a long story, bro. So, uh, how's Kerry doing?"

"… You had a child."

"Um, yeah, guess I did. So, Kerry?"

"You had a baby, and you didn't tell me. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Jim."

"W-Well, I was busy, and-"

"_No_, you were just too much of a selfish ass-hat to consider how this would affect everybody who isn't James Tiberius Kirk! God, what were you _thinking_? And for that matter, how the hell did you even _have _a kid? And why's this guy here?" Sam screamed, pointing at Spock.

"I-It was an accident! There were these cat people, and these reproductive crystals, and… well… technically… he's kinda her dad too."

And at this point, it was just too much for poor ol' Sam to take. After spluttering indignantly for about one minute, the elder Kirk fell to the ground.

"Alright, I'm decent-lookin' now- Why is my husband on the ground? Wait… Jimmy? Is that you, love?"

"Hi, Kerry! You… put on a few pounds, huh?"

The Irishwoman glared at him, annoyed. "I'm _pregnant, _ya idjit."

"That explains a lot." Kirk looked down at his brother. "Er… I can explain."

Kerry sighed. "I'm sure ya can. Well, c'mon in, then, might as well not keep ya outside in the heat. Could one of ya pick up my dope of a man and drag 'em to the couch? Maybe then ya can tell me what the feck I missed, and where that little dote came from."

**A/N: This shall be fun. And yes, I know that the original Sam's wife was named Aurelan, but this is the AU, and things are different. **

**(But the baby is still Peter).**


	9. Shore Leave, Part 2 CONCLUSION

**A/N: Hi again. I kinda forgot to update this story. I'm sooooorry, real life was nuts for a while and then I saw the Avengers and the Glee kids graduated and so I wrote a story called 'The White Knight' and also there was some Birdflash adorableness that caused feels I needed to rid myself of and so here I am. **

**/rant.**

After Sam came to, though he was still majorly pissed off, his very pregnant and temperamental wife forced him to observe social niceties, such as bringing their guests a hot beverage.

"That's for when they're upset!"

"_**Are you questioning the mother of your child?**_"

Sam quickly went into the kitchen after that, mumbling about how he should have married a Japanese woman.

Kerry smiled at the two men seated on their sofa, their young daughter playing with an assortment of blocks and gurgling happily on the floor below them.

"So, how long have you two been together?"

Jim straightened, her sudden change in attitude making him suddenly nervous. "Eh… It's kind of a funny story, actually. Y'see, we aren't _together _in the traditional sense of the word…"

"Oh? Then you're not together anymore but are civil to each other for Hannelore's sake! I'm impressed, Jimmy boy, I never thought ye could be so mature!"

Jim glared at her as Sam set down the coffees on the side tables on either end of the couch. "First of all, I'm _very _mature- stop smirking, Sam- and second, there's never been a _together _to not be anymore! It was a complete freak accident that Hannelore was born, no feelings involved what so ever!"

Kerry looked at him, her expression telling him clearly 'I don't believe you one bit, but for your sake I won't press the issue'. "I see, then. Well, I'm sure that Winona must have screamed somethin' nawful when ye told her she was a Nanna!"

An absolute silence ruled over the room, save Hanners' occasional happy cooing.

"Oh my god, you didn't tell Mom?"

"I-It might have slipped my mind…" Jim muttered, looking away from his brother.

"JIM! When she finds out you have a friggin' _one-year-old _and didn't tell her she's gonna murder you! If she survives the heart attack she'll inevitably suffer from the shock!"

"And who says she'll ever find out, huh?" Jim retorted indignantly.

Sam groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Dude, she's our _Mother_. There is nothing in this entire universe that we can do and she won't find out about eventually."

"Then this is the exception. I hardly see ever even see her, so the chances of her finding out about Hanners are about five billion to one."

Just then, the doorbell rang once more, its tinny chimes filling the house.

"Ugh, great, more people. Sammy, pet, go get the door, would ya? If I try to get up again my feet are gonna fall right off."

Sam willingly obliged her and once again went to answer whoever happened to be calling at that moment. "Hi, how can I- _MOM?_"

The older woman threw her arms around her eldest son, pulling him into a tight hug. "Hi, Sammy! I was in the area, so I thought I'd stop by and see you and that darling wife of yours!"

Sam swallowed nervously. "W-Well, it's nice of you to come and see us, but, er, n-now really isn't the best time."

Winona released her son, staring at him inquisitively. "And why isn't it, dear?"

"B-Because… uh… well…" Sam honestly couldn't think of a good reason, or at least a lie that his mother would believe.

_Forgive me, little brother, for I am about to wrong you. _"… Because Jim's here visiting right now." Sam admitted with a guilty sigh.

The former member of Starfleet stared at him in shock for a minute before she rushed into the living room. "Jim, darling? Is that you?"

"_MOM!"_

With another guilt-infused sigh, Sam returned to the living room to find Jim standing in the middle of it, having the living daylights squeezed out of him care of their mother.

_I hate you with every fiber of my being right now, _his eyes seemed to growl.

_Jerk. _

_Bitch._

"Oh, Jimmy, how I've missed you! Where have you been, why haven't you called me, I was starting to think that you were dead!"

"I-I'm fine, Mom, other than the fact that someone seems to be trying to suffocate me."

Still their mother didn't release her younger son. Hanners, who had seen the display but somehow had not been noticed by the really scary lady who was making Daddy look like he was hurting, was getting very tired of this old woman trying to make Daddy dead and latched onto her father's leg, screaming, "NO! _My _Daddy, _mine_!"

Suddenly, all the commotion stopped as the room's attention turned to the extremely upset toddler currently clinging to Jim's pant leg. Currently, the tiny blonde child was doing her best death-glare, one slightly reminiscent of a certain lieutenant. Unfortunately, Hanners being only a year old, this effort was wasted as it is nearly impossible for a one-year-old to be threatening, save a certain biological son of a certain bat-based superhero.

"Jim," Winona began slowly, "whose child is that?"

Her younger son sighed uneasily, taking the still unhappy girl into his arms. "This, Mom, is my daughter, Hannelore Amanda Kirk. She's a year old, her birthday is April 3rd, and she is the result of an incident involving me, my First Officer- that's him over there, by the way- and some weird alien reproduction crystals. Surprise?"

For a moment, his mother just stared at him in disbelieving shock. Then she raised a shaking hand to her forehead and began to walk towards the door to the back yard.

"I… I need some air."

With that, the screen door slammed shut and the room was left in silence.

Jim glared disapprovingly at his daughter. "And just what do you have to say for yourself, missy?"

The toddler cooed and wrapped her tiny arms around her father's neck.

"I thought so."

-To Boldly Go-

Later that evening, as the sun had begun its surrender to the night, Winona Kirk was still in the back yard, sitting on the creaking mold-colored porch swing and staring into the empty space in front of her.

"Mind if I join you?" Winona looked up to see her younger son smiling at her apologetically, knowing that he was probably in big trouble but facing it.

"… It's a free galaxy." The older woman stated eventually, making room for her son, who sat next to her without another word.

For a moment, the pair sat in silence, either trying to think of a way to start this inevitable conversation or waiting for the other to break the silence.

Finally, Jim couldn't take the tension anymore. "Look, Mom, if you're gonna yell at me, could you please just get it over with so we can move on with our lives?"

Winona chuckled humorlessly. "That's the same thing you said to me when you were ten and you stole Frank's car."

It had been a long time since she'd been able to refer to her ex-husband by his name. For the first few months after the divorce, he was 'He-who-must-not-be-named' in their house, and any mention of him would inevitably end in tears. Then he was simply 'jerk-face' for a while if he was ever mentioned, and finally he was just 'that one guy'. Now he was Frank again, signifying that enough time had finally passed for it to be a long gone source of pain.

Jim smiled, more out of habit than actual fondness at the memory. "I think Frank was angrier about it than you, actually. I coulda sworn I heard you laughing about it later on."

This time, his mother chuckled because it actually was funny. "Yeah well, I always did hate that old piece of crap."

More time passed in silence before Winona spoke again. "I'm sorry, Jim."

Jim did a double take. "Wait, what? Why are _you _sorry? I'm the one who had a baby and didn't tell you!"

Winona sighed wistfully. "I know. But I also know why you didn't tell me. I… I'm well aware of the fact that I was a pretty shitty excuse for a mother when you and Sam were growing up, and that's not even putting in my leaving you with that abusive asshole I married. I was selfish and could only think about how much you reminded me of your father… how much looking at you, with your blue eyes the same as his, hurt me. A good mother puts her children's needs before her own, and I was too wrapped up in my own pain to see that. I wasn't there for you, and I'm going to be regretting that for the rest of my life."

Another minute passed. Then Jim pulled his mom into a one-armed hug. "Mom… Don't you think I've figured all that out by now? Sure, you weren't the best mom in the world, but I know that Dad's death left you pretty screwed up. The reason I didn't tell you isn't because I have some sort of resentment for you because you never were around. I love you in spite of that. I didn't tell you because I thought that the circumstances that lead to Hanners would cause you to have a heart attack or something."

Winona snorted. "Jimmy, I was a Starfleet officer for more than twenty years. You don't honestly think that finding out I got a granddaughter out of weird circumstances would really do me in, do you?"

Jim laughed. "I guess not, now that I think about it!"

The two laughed for a bit longer before Winona spoke once again. "So, then, about your First Officer-"

"No, I'm not in a relationship with Spock, nor have I ever been in one with him."

"Ah, but you want to be with him, don't you?" The older woman asked with a smirk.

Jim flushed. "Wha- NO! MOM! You know I don't swing that way!"

"Oh, bullshit, Jim, I know all about the boys back in the Academy."

"Wha- HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?"

"Because I'm your mother, I know everything, duh."

-Where No Man Has Gone Before-

After an extremely awkward conversation in which Jim admitted to his mother that he was both bisexual and crazily in love with his First Officer, the Captain finally got around to formally introducing his daughter to her grandmother.

"Hanners, this is your Nana. She's my mommy."

The older woman smiled warmly at the girl, who still looked like she didn't trust this strange lady. After a tense minute, the tiny blonde leaned forward and placed a hand on Winona's forehead, removing it a moment later and leaving everyone very confused when she suddenly thrust out both arms towards her grandmother exclaiming, "Hug! Hug!"

However, no one was unhappy with how it turned out in the end.

**A/N: And with that, Shore Leave is over!**

**Now brace yourselves, because the next chapter will not be so happy. **

**(I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry)**


	10. Taken

**A/N: …**

**I hate this chapter, I really do...**

**(also, grammar might not be up to par, as I'm writing this on Google docs, because my grandmother doesn't have word -")**

For a long time since the birth and arrival of Hannelore, the crew of the Enterprise had become visibly happier, save the Psi 2000 incident. With the addition of a baby, the crew had become less of coworkers and more a family, the village that raises a child, if you will. Indeed, it was as if the whole lot of them had become entranced in a perfect moment.

And then that penultimate moment ended…

_**One month after Shore Leave…**_

The ship was abuzz with tense whisperings and people on high alert, like a behave recovering from an attack by a bear, if beehives could actually recover from that sort of thing.

Three hours beforehand, an alert had come from Starfleet to all ships that had recently docked: Jarveas Ghirahim was on the loose.

Anyone who'd read a major newsfeed within the past ten years knew who this man was, and why him being free to roam wherever he pleased was a very dangerous thing. Ghirahim was from an alien race that at one point had the ability to shape-shift into anyone, essentially becoming a doppelganger and having ample opportunity to become that person. Over countless millennia, the gene that gave them the aforementioned ability had become more and more scarce, and as far as anyone knew, the criminal mastermind was the only one left in existence.

Ghirahim was, in his most basic essence, one of the worst kinds of people. In a sense, he was a ruthless sociopath, not caring who or what perished in his path to achieve what he desired. Selfish, arrogant, and downright evil were all terms used to describe him in personal articles, news showings, and even in the courtroom where he was sentenced to life on a prison planet after he'd nearly caused the downfall of Starfleet by impersonating a council member and declaring war on all Romulans and Klingons.

Therefore, this man's location being unknown was very bad. Very, very bad. As in, of all the worst possible things that could happen, this was THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.

Really, it made sense for everyone unified under Starfleet to be on their toes at all times. Ghirahim was proven to be after the fall of Starfleet and all it stood for, and he could be absolutely anyone.

Which is why when Starfleet sent a message to the Enterprise informing them that the council was sending a professional in the field of hunting down criminal geniuses on board to make certain that Ghirahim hadn't snuck onto the ship, the crew wasn't very surprised.

They _were _a bit surprised that it had been sent via a textual messaging system rather that as a face-to-face viral contact, but then they simply assumed that they weren't taking chances with this case.

The man they sent was certainly someone who seemed like they would have this job. With dark hair gelled back tightly, skin as pale as Earth's one and only moon, his tall and thin build, and his gaunt face with model-like cheekbones, Kirk could have sworn that he was the great Sherlock Holmes.

"Hi there, welcome aboard the Enterprise!" Kirk said with his usual cheerful demeanor, outstretching his arm for the agent to shake his hand.

The newcomer simply glanced at the outstretched extremity and gave the Captain an unamused stare. "I am Agent William Coulson," the detective said in a surprisingly deep voice, "And if you do not mind, I would like to speak with Captain Kirk so we may begin the search."

Jim's smile refused to falter as his arm returned to his side fruitlessly. "That would be me, and I guess I'm ready when you are, Agent."

For a moment, Coulson simply gave him a look that incredulously inquired 'Seriously? You expect me to believe that _you _are the Captain of this ship? You must be joking', but when no one stepped up and told this man to bugger off, he decided that this idiot must be telling the truth. "Very well, then, Captain, then if we may-"

"Dad-dy!" A tiny voice exclaimed. A minuscule blond toddler girl had begun running clumsy down the hallway, joyfully calling out the cutesy name for her father, right up until she tripped on seemingly nothing and fell flat on her face. "AH!"

"Hanners!" The Captain shouted as he ran towards the small child, who had begun sobbing softly. "Oh, shush, baby, you're okay, Daddy's got you..."

_How interesting. _"I assume that this toddler is yours, Captain?"

The other man chuckled lightly. "Yeah, she's my little girl."

_Very__ interesting. _"I see. Well, then, I shall leave you to your daughter, sir."

"Wait, what? But what about the-"

"I am sure that I can find my own way around the ship, Captain. Farewell."

As the 'detective' left the welcoming party, a grin settled onto his features.

A very malicious sort of grin, that is.

_Perhaps I will not have to do as much work of my own after all, _the man thought as his hair became free of its restrictive coating, icy blue eyes becoming chocolate coloured and skin turning from pale ivory to a rich shade of mocha.

_If I show that the best of the best at Starfleet cannot even protect his own child from being taken, then perhaps the public will simply do the hard part of overthrowing the council for me. _

Ghirahim's evil smirk only grew as he formulated the plan of action, disguised as one of Starfleet's own in the deserted halls of it's flagship.

**-To Boldly Go-**

After putting Hannelore back into her room, where she had proceeded to take her midday nap, Kirk had returned to the bridge expecting to see Coulson, and was immediately stunned when the agent was nowhere to be seen.

"Has anybody seen Coulson?"

That question was answered with a resounding no and a few head scratches in confusion. Just then, the Starfleet insignia appeared onscreen.

"It's from Commander Pike, Captain."

Kirk waved his arm in a 'go ahead' gesture.

"Hello, Captain, how have you been doing?"

"Just fine, Pike. Listen, that Coulson guy you sent over, is he always so... aloof?"

The Commander gave him a confused look. "Coulson? As in, Agent William Coulson?"

"Yeah, who else would I be talking about? I mean, I can't imagine that there's a lot of people with the last name Coul-"

"Jim," Pike began warily, "I never sent Agent Coulson aboard the Enterprise. In fact, Coulson isn't even in your quadrant right now. Coulson is in the Omega quadrant infiltrating an interplanetary crime organization."

"What? But then who..." Jim's eyes widened in realization. "... Oh, shit. Quick, initiate emergency lock down procedures!"

Pike nodded. "I'll alert the council. Don't let him get away, Kirk." The Commander warned as the contact ended.

"Sir, emergency lock down isn't possible."

The Captain spun around, wide-eyed in adrenaline-fueled energy. "WHAT? Why the fuck not?"

Chekov gulped audibly. "I-It says zat an emergency medical override on all lock dovn procedures has been put into place indefinitely, Keptin."

"Emergency medical over- Oh, good God, BONES!"

-Where No Man Has Gone Before-

By the time that Kirk arrived, it appeared that it was too late. Both Bones and Chapel were lying on the floor unconscious, the medical bay looked like it had been viciously assaulted by both a hurricane and a tornado, and the one computer in the bay was locked, the words 'OVERRIDE ACTIVATED' flashing in blood-red lettering.

"Fuck! Bones, wake up!" Kirk screeched, running over to his friend, picking him up by the collar and slapping him across the face with all of his might.

"OW! MOTHER OF GOD, JIM!"

The Captain furiously pointed at the computer. "GHIRAHIM'S ON BOARD! TURN OFF OVERRIDE! NOW!"

Bones sighed. "I can't."

"WHY THE EVER-LOVING FUCK NOT? TELL ME WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS HOLY CAN YOU NOT TURN OFF OVERRIDE?"

"BECAUSE THAT JACKASS CHANGED THE PASSWORD AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!"

After a short staring contest, Jim dropped his friend with a thud.

"... Fucking super. Our only chance is to try and catch this bastard, and we don't even know where he is or what he looks like!"

"Well, think, man! Is there anything that might have piqued his interest?"

"Of course n-! Wait. He did seemed rather interested in Ha-" Once again, the Captain's eyes widened in not only realization, but also abrupt and sheer terror. 

_I assume that this toddler is yours, Captain?_

"... No... No... Oh, dear God, Buddha, Zeus, whoever the fuck's up there, please NO!" Jim screamed as he tore out of the medical bay and down the halls of the Enterprise, tearing the door to his only child's room open the millisecond he arrived at it.

The crib was overturned carelessly, scratch marks on the wood indicating a struggle. Toys, blankets, books, everything was strewn across the floor in orderless fashion.

And Hannelore was gone.

Without hesitation, Kirk flipped open the communication device he had on him and called up Scotty.

"_Cap'n! Please, ye got to get down 'ere! Ah'm holding him off as best ah ken, but he's too-" _the Scotsman let out a scream and a thud was heard on the other end as Kirk dashed into the teleporter room.

"HANNELORE!"

In his true form of a scaly green humanoid with elephant-tusk-like horns, the evil man smirked as he stepped onto the beam, a furiously squirming and screaming child held tightly under his arm.

"DADDY!" The little child screeched, tears streaming down her terrified young face.

"Said goodbye to your beloved baby girl, Captain James Tiberius Kirk." The monster stated maliciously as the beam started up.

"NO!" Kirk desperately rushed forward, but it was in vain.

In a moment, both his baby, his child, his entire world was gone, and so was the monster.

Hannelore had been stolen away from him right before his very eyes.

-SPIIIIIRK!-

He couldn't feel anything.

Spock told him that Hannelore was still alive, he could still sense her through their bond, but he had tried and failed to contact her through it many a time.

He was numb.

Uhura held him tightly, told him it wasn't his fault, that Ghirahim had fooled them all.

He couldn't speak.

Bones had sworn to him that they wouldn't give up, that they'd find her if it was the last thing they all did.

He couldn't sleep.

Nothing mattered anymore. His child, his only daughter, his baby was gone.

He had been broken so many times before this.

But this time, James Tiberius Kirk was shattered.

**-STAR TREK-**

**Meanwhile, on a planet near Earth's solar system...**

A small child sobbed relentlessly on the steps of the Grand Systenian Church of Gallamenxia. The head priestess, intrigued and wary, picked up the tiny bundle and cradled it cautiously in her cloth-covered crimson arms.

"A child...?" She asked no one, peeking into the blanket and gasping at the sight. "A monster!"

For a moment, the priestess considered throwing this demon into the well and sending it back to Agraheit where it belonged, but the teachings of the Seer Systenia ran through her mind and stopped her.

"Since it is a sin to murder a defenseless child, no matter how deformed..." she gazed up at the lonely bell tower crowning her home. "Perhaps... I shall make this monstrosity of some use."

With that, Ferdonia retreated inside the cathedral, the child, whom she decided to call Celicimia, a name meaning 'tiny-demon', still weeping in her clutches.

**A/N: …**

**Now you know why I didn't want to write this one...**


	11. The Runaway Bride

**A/N: I CAN'T DO IT! I SHOULD BE WORKING ON MY BOOK, BUT I FEEL AWFUL LEAVING YOU GUYS ON A SAD NOTE! I'M SO PATHETIC!**

***sniff* Here... have some fluffy fluffiness.**

**June 11, 2289**

It was a beautiful day in San Francisco, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there was hardly any traffic for some inexplicable reason.

The perfect day for a wedding, one would have ultimately decided. And it most certainly was.

As everyone in that garden stood to watch the bride who was grinning so wide that it nearly poked both of her fathers on either side of her, they all had the same thought, minus the groom, who had the words _holy shit she's absolutely gorgeous what do I do _running through his mind on infinite loop, on their minds.

_Finally._

In her simple white gown with a silk blue sash, one would think that the pointy-eared blond was a princess instead of the daughter of two intergalactic heroes. Indeed, the bride was glowing.

Literally, _glowing._

Right before reaching the altar, the bride began shrieking in terror, disappearing on the spot.

The best man, who also happened to be the groom's brother, was the first to speak.

"The fuck just happened?"

-To Boldly Go-

**A while earlier, the USS Enterprise...**

Six years.

Six goddamn motherfucking years that they'd been combing the entirety of the cosmos for her, and they'd come up with squat. Nada. Nothing. Zilch.

They were on their second five-year mission now, one they'd only gotten because of her unknown location. Pike had told them at the start that if this mission ended and she was still not found, Hannelore Amanda Kirk would be declared legally deceased, despite the fact that Spock could still sense her.

Surprisingly, Kirk took that pretty well. It was Spock who'd had a fit at that, actually grimacing at Pike before storming out of the room in a huff. When Kirk had questioned him on this unusual behavior, he'd completely lost it, yelling that he didn't understand how declaring someone who was obviously still alive to be deceased was in any way logical, turning over a table with little effort and storming out once again.

For the first time, Kirk realized that he wasn't the only one hurting. Spock wanted his only child back just as badly as he did, but unlike Kirk he chose to keep his emotions to himself. Kirk thought about those few times he'd caught Spock playing with their child, or hearing him comforting her over the baby monitor, and realized that those couldn't have been the only times he did that, he probably was just as involved with her as he was.

Everyone else was hurting too, he realized later on. Hanners wasn't only his and Spock's child, she was the child of the Enterprise, something that had truly brought them all together as a crew.

If not for himself or Spock, he had to find that child. For everyone's sake.

That was why getting sucked into a wormhole was not a very good thing. It sort of detracted from them finding Hannelore's whereabouts.

"Goddammit, people! We don't have time for this! I-"

Scotty suddenly interrupted that little tirade. "_Erm, Cap'n? Ah think ye may want tah get down 'ere- OW! Fer the love o' god, lassie, stop 'itting me!"_

Kirk sighed and grabbed Spock's arm tiredly. "C'mon, Spock, let's get over there and see what he wants."

"Pardon me, Captain, but why does this require my presence?"

"Because I said so. C'mon."

**-Where No Man Has Gone Before-**

With a nearly silent hiss, the doors to the transport bay slid open.

"Okay, Scotty make it quick, we're kind of- What the balls?"

Currently, the Scotsman was being assaulted by a young woman in a simple wedding gown with her bouquet, and man did she look just absolutely livid.

"SEND ME HOME RIGHT NOW DOUCHE NUGGET! IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MAR-"

"HEY! LAY OFF MY HEAD ENGINEER!" Kirk shouted, running over to extract her from the Scot.

She turned to glare at him, but her sour expression immediately turned to one of surprise. "P... Papa? Is that you?"

For the first time, Jim noticed her ears, pointed upward toward the skies. He looked into her deep brown eyes, innocent and yet so familiar.

They were just the same as Spock's eyes. As _her _eyes.

"H... H-Hannelore?"

"Th-That would be me, yes. Why... Why do you look like you did when I was seven?"

Without answering the question, the Captain wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"I... I can't believe it's you... I thought that I'd never see you again!"

Awkwardly, the bride patted his back. "Uh... there, there?" Hannelore looked up at Spock.

_Has Papa always been this odd, or is this new?_

Spock was extremely startled by the sudden mental communication. _You are still able to communicate with me telepathically?_

His daughter gave him a befuddled look. _Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be able to chat with you over brainwaves?_

_I have not been able to contact you in all the time we have been searching for you. _

Hannelore rolled her eyes. _Well, duh, I was _seven_. I didn't even know what a Vulcan _was _at that point in time, let alone know that I had Vulcan heredity._

Spock gave her a confused look, planning to request further explanation, but as usual, Kirk decided to take up her time.

"So, why are you wearing a wedding dress, exactly?" Jim asked upon releasing his daughter.

In a manner eerily reminiscent of a certain half-Vulcan, the blonde raised one eyebrow. "Because I'm sort of supposed to be getting married? You know, the reason most women wear wedding dresses?"

"Wait, what? MARRIED? YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE GETTING MARRIED!"

"Dude, I'm twenty-seven. I think I'm mature enough to decide who I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"No you're not! I'm thirty-three and I'm not married!"

"Yeah, for a little while longer anyway." Hanners muttered under her breath, Kirk barely catching it.

"What was that?"

"Sorry, no spoilers! Now, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to get back to San Francisco before my maid of honor flips the fuck out and we have yet another incident involving wedding cake, a wacky inflatable waving arm man thingy, entirely too much caffeine and slash or alcohol, and a box of crayons." The girl shuddered. "Those poor monkeys..."

"...I fail to understand how any of those things relate to the others..." Spock commented, slightly dumbstruck by the statement.

"Trust me, once you meet Tai, you'll understand what I mean."

**-SPIIIIIIRK!- **

"... And that's why Wade and Tai are no longer welcome in Puerto Rico." Hannelore leaned back on the padded subway seat, taking a deep breath after recounting one of the numerous tales of her friends' misadventures to the past (at least from her viewpoint) versions of her parents.

"... When, exactly, did you meet these people? I need to make sure you don't hang out with them. EVER."

"If I don't hang out with them, I'll never meet my fiancé and end up married to a cheating jerkface. You'd rather I marry an asshole?"

Kirk did a double-take. "Wait, what? Were you engaged before you were engaged to this guy?"

"Yep, 'bout two years ago I was all set to marry a butt-head by the name of Garry Michealson. He was this handsome big-shot movie star I met in New York during my first run on Broadway-"

"Wait wait wait, _Broadway_? As in, _the _Broadway?"

"Well, duh! There aren't that many Broadways notorious for theatre, I'm sure."

"That's not the point! You're an actress?"

"Yep! Movies, TV, theatre, you name it! But back to the point, Peter- my fiancé- and Tai and Wade found out that Garry was a two-timing dickhead, which was a big deal within itself, but there was also the fact that Petey had kind of been in love with me since we were like, twelve or something. 'Oblivious to Love' apparently runs in our family."

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing. Anyway, it's my wedding, right? And I'm up on the altar, all set to get married, when suddenly Peter just flips out. I think he made a sound like 'SLAPAPOW', dashed up to the altar, decked Garry, slung me over his shoulder and fled the church. Tai and Wade apparently burst out cheering and started being all celebratory moments later. And we've been together ever since. Right after I punched his lights out for ruining my wedding."

"... I am not quite sure what to make of that."

"Make of it what you will. Oh, look, we're here."

**-STAR TREK-**

"Dude, stop being such a woman!"

Currently, the groom and his brother/ best man were sitting at the reception hall's bar, the former sobbing grossly over the fact that he'd basically been abandoned at the altar by the girl he'd loved since he was in the sixth grade.

"Sh-shut up you insensitive jerk-face!"

Wade merely grunted, taking a swig of his whiskey. "Ahh. Told ya getting married was a bad idea."

"Y-You're a bad idea!"

"Says the younger sibling to his elder brother."

Meanwhile, the maid of honor was completely flipping out, the other bridesmaids (and the fathers of the bride) attempting to keep her from murdering people and/or small and adorable critters in her rage.

"WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS HOW CAN SHE JUST DISAPPEAR LITERALLY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR FIFTEEN STINKIN' YEARS!"

"Cool it, Tailona! I'm pretty sure that Hanners doesn't know how to make herself disappear on command or anything. In fact, I bet she's on her way back right-"

At that moment, the large ivory doors to the hall opened, revealing the subject of all the chaos.

"Whoa, it's like a funeral in here! Who died?"

"... Wow. I actually didn't think that I was right."

Kirk and Spock were not quite sure what to make of the tiny woman with curly pointed ears and a mass of puffy hot pink hair storming towards the future version of their daughter, though both of their first instincts were to stand in front of her protectively. However, she waved them off casually, so the only option was to be on guard.

"Hey, Tai! What happened to your hair?"

The shorter girl glared at the bride. "Do you realize what you've done? This day was going to be perfect! I've waited _fifteen fuckin' years _for this, and you disappear into thin air! Just look at my hair!" Tai angrily gestured to the mass atop her hair. "I used an entire can of hairspray, and yet it's still a fluffy fuschia fiasco! That's how much stress you've caused me, you stupid bitch!"

To the continued surprise of Spock and Kirk, rather than decking this insanely rude woman, pulled her close.

"There, there. I'm sorry I ruined my wedding day for you, Tai-tai. But I promise, I'm gonna make things right. Am I forgiven?"

The troll-doll-like girl sniffled. "I guess. Your groom's over by the bar with Wade, drowning his sorrows."

Hannelore looked confused. "Petey doesn't drink."

"He's probably drunk on sadness at this point. Sober 'em up, would ya?"

The bride smiled and released her friend, making her way over to the bar.

"Hey, handsome. You okay?"

The glasses-wearer looked up, then immediately stumbled back in shock. "H-Hannelore! You're okay!"

"'Course I am. What, you don't think I can handle my own?"

Peter stood up, suddenly looking angry. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? For all I knew, you could've been kidnapped by space-pirates or something! God, I can't believe- mmph!"

The much shorter bride pulled her husband-to-be down to her eye-level, effectively shutting him up with her lips. After a long, passionate smooch (and a wolf-whistle courtesy of Wade), Hannelore released him, Peter's face having become the color of a ripe tomato and his glasses as cloudy as a windshield of a car driving through fog.

"... Guh..."

The bride smirked, taking her husband-to-be by the hand and leading him off. "C'mon, I think that Uncle Chekov is legally able to marry us on this planet."

While the couple went to be officially married, the present and future versions of her parents had met.

"So, any idea why she ended up on our Enterprise?"

"It is very complicated, however I believe it has to do with the 'Something Old' our daughter choose: A Starfleet insignia that one of you has on your uniform. Most likely, the wormhole caused the teleporter to malfunction and cause her to transport onto the ship." **(1)** The elder Spock answered.

"Okay, I guess that makes sense. Kind of. I have to know, though. Where did you find her? We've been looking for her for six years, and nothing!"

The elder couple looked at each other briefly. "I don't think we can tell you that, guys. The space-time continuum is probably starting to tear already, we shouldn't tell you too much. However, believe me when I say that you'll find her soon. Now get out of here."

With a glare from the younger Kirk, the pair left the building, ready to resume their search for their child.

"Jim, do you think we should have informed them about-?"

"Nah, they'll find out soon enough." The human took the other's hand. "Now, come on. I'd like to dance with my husband at our daughter's wedding."

The graying half-Vulcan smirked slightly. "As you wish, th'y'la."

**Meanwhile, in the present on a not-so-far-away planet...**

A tiny blonde child ran up to the highest part of the tower she resided in, excitedly approaching the bird's nest on the edge of the balcony.

"Good morning! Are you ready to fly today?"

The tiny red falcon-like creature immediately shook its head, signally its fear.

The young girl frowned, disappointed in the answer. "Are you sure? Because, you know, if I were going to pick a day to fly," the bell-ringer began, cupping the baby in her hands, "I'd pick a beautiful one like this one!"

Indeed, it was a gorgeous day, the sun peaking over the hills behind the beautiful City of Music, as it was known throughout the world.

Suddenly, the feathered creature hopped out of her hands, flapping its wings and taking unsteady flight.

"Hey, you did it!" The girl cheered happily. "Well, go on! Join the other durailians! I believe in you!"

The little animal did just that, soaring off with the flock, as those creatures always do.

The blonde sighed wistfully, leaning on the balcony. "_... Out where they walk, out where they run, out where they stay all day in the sun..." _She sang sadly. "_Wanderin' free, wish I could be part of that world..."_

"Celicimia!" An impatient voice called. "Do not shirk your duties, young lady!"

"Ah!" Celicimia dashed back into the tower. "Coming, Lady Ferdonia!"

**A/N: (1) Yes, I know, fail physics, shut up.**

**Well, there you go! An internet to whomever can tell me where this chapter's title comes from!**

**Also, one question: In any Star Trek Canon before the end of TOS, has anyone mentioned that there is a cure for the common cold? It may affect the next chapter.**


	12. Notice

**Hello, all.**

**This is the author, of course. I'm writing to say that this fic is being discontinued. **

**I've thought about this intensively for a long time, I've weighed the pros and cons, and after re-reading it, I'm just not satisfied with how I did just about everything. I think I focused too much on humor and the relationship between Hanners and Kirk, rather than Hanners, Kirk and Spock as a family unit. Also, the new arc was just too much of a change from the previous chapters that were more gag-based and dialogue heavy rather than dramatic and emotional. Honestly, I read the story and wanted to cry in shame. It's not the story I want to tell anymore. It's become like SpongeBob after the movie: bad gags and sloppy humor. And I don't want to continue down this road, because if I do I fear I'll turn into the writers of Family Guy and make someone an annoying mouthpiece for my own views.**

**However, despite the fact that I no longer care for this story, I still find the premise to be interesting. **

**So, I'm going to do what they did with the Spiderman Movie-verse after the Raimi Trilogy.**

**That's right: it's reboot time.**

**I've decided to rewrite the story, this time in a more dramatic and planned out manner. The reboot will be called 'Lullaby', and while there will be humor and sweet family moments, it will be more plot-oriented and less gag-based. **

**I hope you all understand my decision and respect that I want to try something new with this premise. Thank you for all your support. Without you lovely people, I wouldn't be the writer I am today.**


End file.
